tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1268746983441346507.post1012601929162332646..comments2024-02-21T02:19:16.755-08:00Comments on Widow's Voice: Seven Widowed Voices Sharing Love, Loss, and Hope : Living With The Past, But Not Living In It.Michele Neff Hernandezhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02356589209090780127noreply@blogger.comBlogger8125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1268746983441346507.post-92075918287287791812011-05-02T19:28:02.830-07:002011-05-02T19:28:02.830-07:00Thanks so much for this, I really needed this pers...Thanks so much for this, I really needed this perspective tonight.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1268746983441346507.post-24090685564070972372011-05-02T19:06:29.527-07:002011-05-02T19:06:29.527-07:00EXACTLY! For so many months I lived in the past te...EXACTLY! For so many months I lived in the past terrified if I let go, I would be letting go of my memories, my husband and all of the love I feel for him. But it was so painful to just live in the past because I could never get back to "before he was sick" if I tried to think about the before memories it always led to his diagnosis of cancer and his death a year and a half later. Eventually, i was having so much actual physical pain (i felt like I was always on the verge of a heart attack) my body actually gave in and i kept getting sick - one virus after another. Finally, I made myself start again. Get out of bed on time, exercise, eat breakfast, go to bed at ten rather than one, two, three a.m. sobbing.<br />I had to start thinking about the future and allow myself the slim possibility of hope for a future that didn't feel like being on the edge of dying of a broken heart.<br />I am slowly moving forward. While I still have many hard days, i have occasional good afternoons, or evenings. Sometimes in the morning I wake up and i can feel grateful. i want to live, desperately.<br />Even if sometimes the grief makes that seem incredibly hard.<br /><br />I come here - to widows voice, each morning - to find inspiration and to read the journeys of the writers and others as a way to remind myself, if they have survived, so can I.<br />thank you.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1268746983441346507.post-1084211416027987902011-05-02T15:33:07.476-07:002011-05-02T15:33:07.476-07:00When I first thought about this. was when I was th...When I first thought about this. was when I was thinking about the grieving process. At first, it hurts to think about the past, but you do not want to forget it. Next it hurts to think about the future, because you can not see it. Later thinking about the past brings both joy and sorrow. But I think I finally knew I was healing when I could start to dream about the future again and even start to plan for it, while thinking about the past and remembering what it meant to feel happy. Grief isn't something you get over, but something you learn to live with. I will always miss my loved one, so it should not stop me from living in the present ot planning for the future.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1268746983441346507.post-71800894549376110582011-05-02T12:04:54.601-07:002011-05-02T12:04:54.601-07:00Good for you Dan. My daughter just hit the 6 month...Good for you Dan. My daughter just hit the 6 months mark of widowhood, and for the most part, I think she is moving along nicely. Your post gives me hope for her. My hope for her (& you)is that she will love again and be happy again. Thanks for sharing.<br />Bless you,<br />A hopeful momAnonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1268746983441346507.post-1031453609026007282011-05-02T10:42:12.687-07:002011-05-02T10:42:12.687-07:00Good article, bro. It took me 4 years to start thi...Good article, bro. It took me 4 years to start thinking of the future again. <br /><br />Peace - BarneyAnonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1268746983441346507.post-8959386118265948202011-05-02T10:16:07.090-07:002011-05-02T10:16:07.090-07:00I am at 11 weeks and learning. I appreciate all th...I am at 11 weeks and learning. I appreciate all that I read as it helps me to grow as I attempt to figure out whats next for me. Thank you for sharing. <3 to us all<br />I too would like to borrow your last line here, a little something for me to focus on.Dawn Moreno Pomahatchhttp://www.facebook.com/?ref=home#!/profile.php?id=550017711noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1268746983441346507.post-81928501672121297442011-05-02T09:30:15.285-07:002011-05-02T09:30:15.285-07:00Dan,you and I are on almost the same timeline and ...Dan,you and I are on almost the same timeline and I know we are all unique, but it's funny how I'm coming to many of the same conclusions. I can't bring Jeff back and I can't live my life for him anymore. I have to continue on in the best way I know how for me. I recently moved from our "home" and it was one of the best decisions I've ever made. This new house is a symbol of survival. It's a symbol of healing and of faith in myself. I brought the most important things with me - my memories of that wonderful life that I used to lead. But, I will not allow myself to get stuck in that life or the memory of that life. <br /><br />I think you have done an amazing job of surviving the absolute worst circumstances and I wish you peace along your journey.<br /><br />LynLynhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/02864315338242116959noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1268746983441346507.post-79381443722559253482011-05-02T05:47:11.769-07:002011-05-02T05:47:11.769-07:00Dan,
I need to borrow your last line.Dan,<br />I need to borrow your last line.olsonfoodshttps://www.blogger.com/profile/06511559130640162558noreply@blogger.com