tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1268746983441346507.post1940730311732845587..comments2024-02-21T02:19:16.755-08:00Comments on Widow's Voice: Seven Widowed Voices Sharing Love, Loss, and Hope : Bellissimo Michele Neff Hernandezhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02356589209090780127noreply@blogger.comBlogger14125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1268746983441346507.post-32347653077936230232015-05-24T22:23:06.942-07:002015-05-24T22:23:06.942-07:00Thanks for this post. I was taken by surprise and...Thanks for this post. I was taken by surprise and relieved when I felt a strong attraction for my second husband after losing a beautiful man I was married to for 42 years. We have strong continuing bonds with our deceased spouses and speak of them freely, but not ubiquitously. I feel as if I know his wife well and have genuine affection for her and he is the same about my first husband.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1268746983441346507.post-6052288772825521052015-05-23T21:37:34.266-07:002015-05-23T21:37:34.266-07:00Thanks for this Kelley. Once again your post spoke...Thanks for this Kelley. Once again your post spoke to me. Ive just started seeing someone. It's nearly 3 years since my husband died. I was struggling a bit with how do I fit my relationship with my husband into this new life. The continuing bonds things makes real sense. Thank youAnonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1268746983441346507.post-493211112503587422015-05-23T11:28:05.020-07:002015-05-23T11:28:05.020-07:00This comment has been removed by the author.Kelley Lynnhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/17289972201201027609noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1268746983441346507.post-2417155898476420422015-05-23T11:28:02.309-07:002015-05-23T11:28:02.309-07:00THanks Ruthie! I honestly dont expect that anythin...THanks Ruthie! I honestly dont expect that anything further will happen from this, and like I said in the post, I honestly dont care about that. It was just such a huge leap for me in the way I react to men approaching me, and so maybe that was his entire purpose, to make me see that progress in myself. Kelley Lynnhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/17289972201201027609noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1268746983441346507.post-56805985633755434832015-05-23T10:33:57.142-07:002015-05-23T10:33:57.142-07:00It will NOT feel that way forever. THAT much I can...It will NOT feel that way forever. THAT much I can guaranteee. Keep doing the work. It is super hard and painful and not in any way easy, but keep doing it. You dont notice the changes, because they happen so slowly and gradually - until one day, you wake up and you feel different about something that youve been struggling with , and you go "OH! SHIFT! THERES A SHIFT!" Youll know it when they happen for you. It feels like a sigh. It feels good.Kelley Lynnhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/17289972201201027609noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1268746983441346507.post-35940749931570391052015-05-23T10:30:17.462-07:002015-05-23T10:30:17.462-07:00THanks Ruthie! I honestly dont expect that anythin...THanks Ruthie! I honestly dont expect that anything further will happen from this, and like I said in the post, I honestly dont care about that. It was just such a huge leap for me in the way I react to men approaching me, and so maybe that was his entire purpose, to make me see that progress in myself. Kelley Lynnhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/17289972201201027609noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1268746983441346507.post-30827478051148722362015-05-23T10:28:26.555-07:002015-05-23T10:28:26.555-07:00Thanks JSP!!! Its funny - in the past year or so, ...Thanks JSP!!! Its funny - in the past year or so, I have become very comfortable in the idea of going out to lunch or dinner alone. I dont LOVE it, but I dont mind it anymore and now and then, I do it. And youre right - my vibe is way different now than it was the first 18 months or so after the loss. I bet if that waiter went home and looked up my website from my business card, he was porably VERY shocked to see that Im a widow. Because I certainly didnt have that "vibe" of sadness and closed-off-ness and "please dont talk to me" that I had for so long. xo ...Kelley Lynnhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/17289972201201027609noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1268746983441346507.post-49634997462790861572015-05-22T20:59:15.008-07:002015-05-22T20:59:15.008-07:00I think what I like about this post isn't that...I think what I like about this post isn't that you consciously did it, but that you gave off the vibe that allowed it to start in the first place, if that makes sense. People don't start flirting with closed off unhappy people. After my husband was killed I always wore sunglasses and looked down at the floor a lot. That is not a way that people will engage with you, and I wanted it that way. I'm like you, I have no interest in dating sites and want to find someone in a more natural way and it won't happen looking at the floor. We are on similar timelines(4 years in August for me) Thank you for sharing your progress.Jill P. (JSP)https://www.blogger.com/profile/06747289586246112711noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1268746983441346507.post-3658733624315021112015-05-22T14:40:01.508-07:002015-05-22T14:40:01.508-07:00Love this post Bellssimo! Have a nice holiday wee...Love this post Bellssimo! Have a nice holiday weekend!Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1268746983441346507.post-29956455811353279022015-05-22T14:02:47.289-07:002015-05-22T14:02:47.289-07:00I absolutely loved this post. It is filled with so...I absolutely loved this post. It is filled with so much hope for you and for everyone else here. Even if nothing further happens, he made you feel special for a little while and you didn't reject what was happening. You enjoyed the flirting (just a little). <br />I also love the part of "continuing bonds". I really understand that. There will always be that between you and Dan but it doesn't mean that there can't be future bonds with someone else. <br />Your post shows that there is hope for healing when we put in the work. Ruthienoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1268746983441346507.post-51730099333058343592015-05-22T11:19:08.731-07:002015-05-22T11:19:08.731-07:00dear Kelley,
this was such an excellent post! I ...dear Kelley,<br /><br />this was such an excellent post! I loved how you told about the flirting story, but I REALLY loved how you shared your REACTIONS to it. I am so happy for you to have found yourself in a place where healing has helped you feel that shift, that perspective of your relationship with Don. continuing bonds...still a relationship...but very different. <br /><br />I feel as if I have had a grief coach session with you just reading this post! it reinforces the truth and gives me great hope - that doing the work of grief that is sometimes so gutting and makes me feel like I am dying (not, but feels that way) won't feel that way forever. thank you for that, Kelley. sending you lots of warm hugs of gratitude, Karen<br /><br /><br /><br />tccomments2013https://www.blogger.com/profile/00446394638074551345noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1268746983441346507.post-38373043746484701142015-05-22T10:00:32.169-07:002015-05-22T10:00:32.169-07:00Such an important message to share, dear Kelley Ly...Such an important message to share, dear Kelley Lynn ~ Thank you so much for this! ♥Marty Tousley, RN, MS, FThttps://www.blogger.com/profile/05517952534831180171noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1268746983441346507.post-44738908020721614962015-05-22T09:25:33.644-07:002015-05-22T09:25:33.644-07:00Kelley, I think you handled that perfectly!!! Go...Kelley, I think you handled that perfectly!!! Good for you. And glad it didn't make you sick to your stomach! I've been widowed for 20 months and still no interest for me either. Thanks for sharing.Barbhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/09827998264615912203noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1268746983441346507.post-69831310754763360202015-05-22T02:27:22.417-07:002015-05-22T02:27:22.417-07:00Nice!! :)
DaisyNice!! :) <br />DaisyAnonymousnoreply@blogger.com