tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1268746983441346507.post2933660005554427770..comments2024-02-21T02:19:16.755-08:00Comments on Widow's Voice: Seven Widowed Voices Sharing Love, Loss, and Hope : Odds ....Michele Neff Hernandezhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02356589209090780127noreply@blogger.comBlogger6125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1268746983441346507.post-10387066187406165852012-06-14T12:26:57.988-07:002012-06-14T12:26:57.988-07:00My husband knew a little bit about everything and ...My husband knew a little bit about everything and there was hardly a question I could ask him that he couldn't answer off the top of his head. He was my own personal Google before there was such a thing. For me, "I'll have to ask Ken how that works" is the thought that throws me off balance all too often. Odd, indeed. Thanks.Tamarahttp://www.tamarabeachum.comnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1268746983441346507.post-24338412812594759542012-06-14T04:46:35.276-07:002012-06-14T04:46:35.276-07:00Funny how that works isn't it? The last time ...Funny how that works isn't it? The last time it happened to me was when Carl and I got engaged...I thought to myself "I can't wait to tell Daniel...." and then I thought "What the hell????" Love you Janine!!Michelle Dippelhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/16174788688244693918noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1268746983441346507.post-89410351722418778662012-06-13T10:13:07.091-07:002012-06-13T10:13:07.091-07:00It is uncanny that you would write something that ...It is uncanny that you would write something that has left me depressed for the last week. We sold a home in another state in 1989 but one paper was never filed. the owner contacted me because he is trying to sell it and needs me to sign off something. we talked for a long time and several times I heard myself saying "wow" while he updated me on people and things back there. As soon as he hung up I thought "wait until Dave hears this!" then remembered he will never know this and nobody else in the world cares but it was huge to us. It is nearly 6 years now and I was shocked at how hard this hit me. Thanks for putting it into words.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1268746983441346507.post-78889437275627690372012-06-13T09:24:03.264-07:002012-06-13T09:24:03.264-07:00I have trouble with the neighborhood that I live i...I have trouble with the neighborhood that I live in alone. It is where we raised our two boys and it was a new development when we moved in in 1977. Sometimes when I'm outside, I'll stop and think about the original homeowners who have moved away or have died. The young families, now grown and moved away with their own families. And especially of when my family was intact and the future was ours. My husband died of cancer 3 1/2 years ago 6 mo after diagnosis. Our boys are grown and have their own families in other states. This week a former neighbor stopped by as he was in town on business and decided to drive through the neighborhood. I happened to walk out of the garage just as he drove by, and he stopped and we talked. He and his wife moved to AZ 6 years ago, after living next door to us for 29 years. He did not know that John had died, as I had no contact info. He was shocked and very supportive. It's part of letting go of the past and letting go of the family and security that I once felt when we were a family living in this house together. That is a difficult and haunting process. I know I need to leave this house and neighborhood because of all the memories, but part of me wants to hang onto all of it. One day at a time. But it feels good to voice what I'm dealing with presently in my grief process. Lots of tears re what once was and what will never be because of John's death--being alone in my retirement. I'm still trying to figure that out. I have mostly good days, but still lots of sadness underneath. Again, one day at a time:)<br />Janine, thank you for your sharing. It is very healing for me.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1268746983441346507.post-86810037881694541442012-06-13T06:14:57.712-07:002012-06-13T06:14:57.712-07:00Janine, you are simply amazing you way you are abl...Janine, you are simply amazing you way you are able to put on paper in such an eloquent way, the things that we all experience. Over two years out and I still have that experience of pulling out the phone to call my husband about something. I still do cry when I immediately realize he isn't here to call. But the tears are not as voluminous as they once were. <br /><br />So glad you were able to have a wonderful vacation with your children!Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1268746983441346507.post-49874883805465289182012-06-13T06:08:53.360-07:002012-06-13T06:08:53.360-07:00Wow Janine! Does your comment ever resonate with ...Wow Janine! Does your comment ever resonate with me.<br />I just arrived back from a holiday and came in the door with my large luggage.<br />The house was quiet and even though I come in through this door to a quiet house everyday now. It was different. <br />No excitement of being home "together", talking about the trip, unpacking and sharing those memories. Just me.<br />I left everything at the door and went out to see our garden - in full bloom and so beautiful. I walked the path and then turned. . . to say "Look at this place? Doesn't it look beautiful?"<br />I actually turned on the path, to look for the face of my husband smiling back at me and then thought "oh! He isn't here anymore".<br />I made it around the garden with tears coming to my eyes and into the house - once again shocked at "gone and never coming back".<br />Sometimes I wonder if I will ever get used to it.<br />I also wonder if he was alive. . . would he feel the same way. Would he notice my absence in everything?<br />I was grateful to have gone on such a wonderful trip but coming home . . . <br />is the most difficult part of the journey.<br />Thanks for letting me know at a year and a half . . . it is completely normal.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.com