tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1268746983441346507.post3026904795977238409..comments2024-02-21T02:19:16.755-08:00Comments on Widow's Voice: Seven Widowed Voices Sharing Love, Loss, and Hope : AheadMichele Neff Hernandezhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02356589209090780127noreply@blogger.comBlogger8125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1268746983441346507.post-39870514940814692182012-01-21T18:09:50.207-08:002012-01-21T18:09:50.207-08:00I feel so similarly. I am still less than 1 year ...I feel so similarly. I am still less than 1 year out, but feel like it's now up to me to continue living. Because I can... and he cannot. I need to do it for me, for the both of us.... I have also found that "Living"... having plans big and small... allow me to keep moving forward too. And I try to enjoy every moment... sunrises, sunsets, the colors of leaves... all of it. The waves of grief too, but mostly the ability to live and enjoy what is still out there to experience.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1268746983441346507.post-50850144975265640202012-01-21T09:49:10.675-08:002012-01-21T09:49:10.675-08:00Great advice Taryn!
During the 6 months Dave &...Great advice Taryn!<br /><br />During the 6 months Dave & I fought his cancer, I mostly refused to consider the future - out sheer terror mainly. But doing so allowed me to often rest and think, "He's here now. Savour this time." And those moments are the most special memories. Laying there with him and just feeling his presence by my side.<br /><br />It's a constant struggle, but I daily try to control my minds wanderings and just Be. Here. Now.Valeriehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/04512708135377541004noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1268746983441346507.post-52108193176226523462012-01-21T09:25:21.185-08:002012-01-21T09:25:21.185-08:00I have to join in and say that I have the same phi...I have to join in and say that I have the same philosophy. Throughout the 4 years that my husband was living with cancer, people would say, "I can't believe that you're doing so well" etc. etc. But this was my secret, I was living EVERY moment in the present. It wasn't conscious, it just happened. It took some time for me to identify it but that's why I was able to cope, to smile, find joy and pleasure in our time together. That's why I was so grateful. After he died, it slipped away. Besides my grief I was filled with fear of what the future would bring, how wouldI handle life alone, what if I got sick, how would I afford to live etc. etc. Being 2 years, 5 months and 21 days out I'm realizing that I am once again beginning to live in the present, once again, it was not a conscious decision. It is just happening.<br /> Just a snippet of my experience to complement Taryn's thoughtful post.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1268746983441346507.post-22369000223709937912012-01-21T07:39:23.013-08:002012-01-21T07:39:23.013-08:00I love Calvin and Hobbes, too, such simple words ...I love Calvin and Hobbes, too, such simple words looking at the big picture. <br /><br />Yes, focusing on the future w/o the one you love by your side is a difficult thing to do. I try not to look too far ahead or else I become overwhelmed by it all. Focus on what needs to be done today, and tomorrow will fall into place. Who knows, you may not even be here tomorrow either, and all that worry about it is for naught. Be here now.Cathynoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1268746983441346507.post-77832417424230259072012-01-21T07:25:25.556-08:002012-01-21T07:25:25.556-08:00Beautifully written and excellent thought, to live...Beautifully written and excellent thought, to live in the now! Great reminder!Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1268746983441346507.post-4172505852167543402012-01-21T07:24:23.596-08:002012-01-21T07:24:23.596-08:00Beautifully written and excellent thought, to live...Beautifully written and excellent thought, to live in the now! Great reminder!Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1268746983441346507.post-1881999109080653432012-01-21T06:56:25.386-08:002012-01-21T06:56:25.386-08:00Taryn,
I LOVE Calvin and Hobbes. Perfect philosop...Taryn,<br />I LOVE Calvin and Hobbes. Perfect philosophy.<br />Lately, I have been excited to wake up. Only because I have a list of things I want to do - things in the day I have planned and am looking forward to doing. Small things, once in awhile big things.<br />At first I thought - have you forgotten already?<br />Then I realized no, I am living. Living in the present.<br />I know my husband would have wanted that.<br />But like you the intense grief comes because it is the realization that it is just me now. I am on my own. Making my own decisions. Usually like Calvin now my comments are statements not questions . . . along the line of "look at that Honey, they are building a huge student condo on one of our favourite streets" or "I know you might be wondering what I am doing but I have a plan!".<br />Sometimes I imagine his comments back. But its different now. <br />I am here.<br />Living.<br />I am so surprised and so grateful.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1268746983441346507.post-82194383855691154272012-01-21T05:45:27.512-08:002012-01-21T05:45:27.512-08:00Nice post. And wonderful insight in your statemen...Nice post. And wonderful insight in your statement "I've realized that the moments where I have been the most incapacitated by grief, are when I have been thinking about nothing but the future, the world in front of me without him by my side" <br /><br />So true, Each day is a gift. <br />Thank you.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.com