tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1268746983441346507.post3771947576099316683..comments2024-02-21T02:19:16.755-08:00Comments on Widow's Voice: Seven Widowed Voices Sharing Love, Loss, and Hope : Black HoleMichele Neff Hernandezhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02356589209090780127noreply@blogger.comBlogger10125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1268746983441346507.post-78030981010452378502012-05-24T09:33:36.254-07:002012-05-24T09:33:36.254-07:00Thanks, Cassie,
This also resonated with me and ...Thanks, Cassie,<br /> This also resonated with me and I feel your angst and uncertainty. After almost 2 years, I'm feeling the need to list our home and find a smaller place for myself. But I also recognize that a move will not be a "geographic cure" for the loneliness, and grief that still weighs on me at times. It would have been a fun exciting challenge with him by my side, now a frightening pursuit alone. I pray for strength and direction for all of us facing this change.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1268746983441346507.post-88836686476806319192012-05-23T12:30:10.791-07:002012-05-23T12:30:10.791-07:00Thank you for your honesty Cassie.
I don't l...Thank you for your honesty Cassie. <br /><br />I don't look forward to this time in my near future. It's been almost 2 years since my Dave died, and I know in my heart and mind that it's time to sell my home. It has many wonderful qualities which I will most definitely miss, but there are many aspects that are less than wonderful. I'm thankful that I didn't have to sell it immediately, but it is far too large a house for just me now, it's old and needs constant maintenance, and so it's becoming a large drain in my bank account.<br /><br />I definitely needed to be here for the first year as part of my healing, but I'm feeling like now it's becoming a hindrance to my further healing.<br /><br />I have much purging and work to do before I can even list my home, but thanks for the heads-up on the black hole that is sure to be waiting for me. I will try to 'prepare' for that and will be sure to keep lots of kleenex on hand.Valeriehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/04512708135377541004noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1268746983441346507.post-28278955272573695862012-05-21T14:14:51.828-07:002012-05-21T14:14:51.828-07:00Thank you for your beautiful words of encouragemen...Thank you for your beautiful words of encouragement, everyone. As usual, my incredible widowed community is my rock. My lifesaver. <br />Thank you thank you thank you.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1268746983441346507.post-12879147098030850472012-05-21T12:37:27.530-07:002012-05-21T12:37:27.530-07:00Cassie, you are a brave woman. To be able to shar...Cassie, you are a brave woman. To be able to share such pain on the web is brave, I think. I want to live too, not just survive every day. Thank you for your honesty and I hope you find "the" house.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1268746983441346507.post-23832487831157292212012-05-21T08:22:36.955-07:002012-05-21T08:22:36.955-07:00Cassie,
When I read your excitement of looking for...Cassie,<br />When I read your excitement of looking for a new house, I recall I mentally sent positive vibes your way. I send more now for your healing after the storm of reality hit with your first search. The comfort of kitty fur and hot baths are well known to me and I so long for all of us we still had our husbands' warm arms to keep us from falling down that horrendously deep black hole. And yet, your perseverance and will to move forward to honor Dave and yourself is filled with Light and Hope. I wish you and myself and all widowers more days of light than dark and more days of hope as we continue this journey of healing.Red-tailed Hawk Taleshttps://www.blogger.com/profile/17445356682812889441noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1268746983441346507.post-18630369016887320272012-05-21T07:51:09.709-07:002012-05-21T07:51:09.709-07:00"Just because you're breathing, it doesn&..."Just because you're breathing, it doesn't necessarily mean you're living. And I want to be living. Which means that I can't give up."<br /><br />Cassie, you will go forward because you have that will to go on and not give up. It may take more time than you want, more looking for that perfect house for you, but each time you go on your quest it will get easier to do. Give yourself the time to make the right choice, you will know when that is. I am being questioned as to why I stay in my house, our house....you all know why, it is/was home, and I've yet to be able to separate myself from it and him and look for another just for me. <br /><br />I want to be living , too, I'm just not sure when or if that will happen again. It hasn't gotten any easier, nor do I have the will on many days. The only thing that keeps me going is the thought of how to honor his life, so I take another breath and trudge on.<br /><br />Thank you for sharing, you have a gift in your writing. It will all fall into place when you least expect it (at least that's what I tell myself).Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1268746983441346507.post-41447588410997311052012-05-21T06:40:45.518-07:002012-05-21T06:40:45.518-07:00"I'd do it all for him until I could do i..."I'd do it all for him until I could do it for myself, too."<br />"And I want to be living. Which means that I can't give up."<br /><br />All of this post resonates with me, as I, too have been looking at houses but these two lines really touched me. <br /><br />The idea of finding a home alone has been an experience in itself and I have swayed from looking for something totally different: a small house on a small lot in a neighborhood or simiar but with less land and closer to stuff. And move back to where we lived or several states away closer to family. <br /><br />Anyway I like so much of what you wrote here, thanks,Linda M. Epsteinhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/10483121679256889932noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1268746983441346507.post-75467360942606770942012-05-21T06:30:49.000-07:002012-05-21T06:30:49.000-07:00Cassie - I started to cry reading your post becaus...Cassie - I started to cry reading your post because the coming in the house grabbing the cat, was me yesterday only it was the dog. Different reason but your bathtub writing - every widow/er knows those moments. The desperation of that grief.<br />This: "I told him that I'd survive to make sure I honor his life. I told him that I'd do it all for him until I could do it for myself, too. I told him I loved him and always would."<br />Yes - the essence of it all.<br />Thank you fro sharing this. Sometimes breathing is all you can do and if you do it long enough, living happens.<br />Peace to you.<br />I hope today is better.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1268746983441346507.post-62024076717817731162012-05-21T06:03:08.723-07:002012-05-21T06:03:08.723-07:00Oh Cassie, what an honest, painful post. Thank you...Oh Cassie, what an honest, painful post. Thank you. I am so sorry for your pain but glad that you were able to have had such a wonderful marriage. Hang in there (it's what I tell myself) and believe that the next chapter also has blessings for you.Tracey K.https://www.blogger.com/profile/01349461488444567601noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1268746983441346507.post-54083283358716123282012-05-21T04:50:59.915-07:002012-05-21T04:50:59.915-07:00SO many similar feelings 3 years ago when I went h...SO many similar feelings 3 years ago when I went house hunting without "my" Dave, frightening and so lonely a feeling. My realtor totally understood and we took it slow and I found "the" house and have made it a home slowly. It is one of many painful tasks to be taken alone but each gives us strenght I hope. I miss my life "before" so bad but feel he is here watching over me and always try to live grateful for having him in my life. Good Luck on your search and thank you for sharing such a private journey.santadebhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/00254705023136329056noreply@blogger.com