tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1268746983441346507.post3888906280148566406..comments2024-02-21T02:19:16.755-08:00Comments on Widow's Voice: Seven Widowed Voices Sharing Love, Loss, and Hope : The Weight of WishingMichele Neff Hernandezhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02356589209090780127noreply@blogger.comBlogger10125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1268746983441346507.post-59844742245513156482011-03-14T20:45:10.224-07:002011-03-14T20:45:10.224-07:00Excellent post Michele. It never occured to me th...Excellent post Michele. It never occured to me that I was also walking around carrying all these well wishes. And yes, it is such a big burden. I can almost feel the sensation of added weight everytime someone throws a line at me about "how things will get better," "you deserve nothing but happiness now," "love will come your way again," and so on, and so on. <br /><br />Now I just look at them with a bit of a blank stare, and with little inflection in my voice, say, "thanks."Danhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/02218009891182171803noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1268746983441346507.post-63044828386573124942011-03-12T17:49:49.024-08:002011-03-12T17:49:49.024-08:00Thanks to Lyn (from the anon above you responded t...Thanks to Lyn (from the anon above you responded to) for your supportive response. I hear you that you are not looking to figure out what to do with your life. I've had that one pulled on me, too. Like I'm suddenly supposed to have all of my days mapped out. UGH. I didn't do that before, why would I do it now? Keep the faith, and thanks again.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1268746983441346507.post-31032532456575037272011-03-12T17:08:51.314-08:002011-03-12T17:08:51.314-08:00I was really sad yesterday and mentioned to a frie...I was really sad yesterday and mentioned to a friend (who is a life coach) that I just missed Jeff so much that some days it was hard to be "pleasant" to everyone. She wanted me to talk to a friend of hers who is a life coach so I could figure out what I wanted to do with my life. Really? I was irritated that because I felt sad, that I needed someone to help me be happy. You know what? I'm grieving and it's ok to be sad and tired and confused. People just don't get it, that's for sure. To anon above, you're not expecting too much - you do need to ask sometimes though because people just don't understand. I got a call tonight that invited me over for pizza. I declined gracefully and then ordered pizza in. :-)Lynhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/02864315338242116959noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1268746983441346507.post-44976808811985557162011-03-12T14:11:30.888-08:002011-03-12T14:11:30.888-08:00My experience has left me with mixed feelings. My ...My experience has left me with mixed feelings. My friends were great for about a month or two, then came the calls with people asking me to go out all of the time (which I was not in a good space to do). After that, people still call but they do not realize how long one is bereaved. The exhaustion from grieving goes on for a long time. I still (16 months out) come home from work too tired to make dinner, or sometimes think it would be nice if someone called and said "I'll come over with a pizza" instead of asking me if want to go out to dinner. I'm tired. Am I expecting too much?Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1268746983441346507.post-5954587707681007582011-03-12T12:21:37.544-08:002011-03-12T12:21:37.544-08:00I could have written this , word for word all by m...I could have written this , word for word all by myself ... have felt , and still do this weight ... but .... will now try ro accept with grace their good wishes that are all wrapped up in love , and let THEM carry the weight ...as others have said , it is hard enough to function without this added dilema....... Im writing from the very besutiful Kingdom of fife in bonnie scotland.... widow/widower-hood is so universal and crosses all social and cultural boundaries... love and blessings to all ... fiona ...xAnonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1268746983441346507.post-13525165478668883772011-03-12T05:23:59.909-08:002011-03-12T05:23:59.909-08:00wow! what a wonderful powerful post. Thanks once...wow! what a wonderful powerful post. Thanks once again for your words.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1268746983441346507.post-10294729754033603692011-03-12T04:50:59.482-08:002011-03-12T04:50:59.482-08:00Great Post, so many times I have been cheerful aro...Great Post, so many times I have been cheerful around friends and family, because I do not want to bring them down. But sometimes this is so difficult, because although I am grateful on so many levels, I am still so sad on others. But because I tend to do this, they oftn do not understand how I am missing my husband. Recently a friend scolded me for leaving an event without saying goodbye. I had to go back and explain to her that the last time I attended that event it had been with my husband and being there made me a little sad so rather than stay I decided it was best to leave and go home to lick my wounds. She apologized, but now probably has a better understanding of what I go through daily, even though I do not talk about it.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1268746983441346507.post-66547056454700887932010-01-04T13:06:13.972-08:002010-01-04T13:06:13.972-08:00There are worse things than people who love you wa...There are worse things than people who love you wanting you to be happy again.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1268746983441346507.post-49087877420568457382010-01-04T09:19:15.885-08:002010-01-04T09:19:15.885-08:00Powerful post. I could definitely relate. I do n...Powerful post. I could definitely relate. I do need to let my friends/family carry the weight of their wishes. My load is heavy enough right now.Debbie G.https://www.blogger.com/profile/02297431433983643626noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1268746983441346507.post-5579858370586106572010-01-04T07:46:04.794-08:002010-01-04T07:46:04.794-08:00"are we enough?" that is the question. ..."are we enough?" that is the question. is the life we are left with enough? what do we do with it? my children are in their early twenties and on their own, but they want me back. they want the mom they knew to come back. from where? i don't know where i've gone but you've given me food for thought. though the people in my own life can be counted on one hand, still your reference to their wishing good things for me rings true. thank you for putting it so gently.abandonedsoulshttps://www.blogger.com/profile/06020499806998154330noreply@blogger.com