tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1268746983441346507.post4233470737454265066..comments2024-02-21T02:19:16.755-08:00Comments on Widow's Voice: Seven Widowed Voices Sharing Love, Loss, and Hope : The FogMichele Neff Hernandezhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02356589209090780127noreply@blogger.comBlogger5125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1268746983441346507.post-68665153236267101022014-04-14T18:26:13.618-07:002014-04-14T18:26:13.618-07:00I work in hospice. ...people have asked me how I d...I work in hospice. ...people have asked me how I do this kind of work where I see death and dying nearly every day. ..especially after watching my husband die unexpectedly over a 5 day period..... (a result of a very very rare fatal complication) following a successful bone marrow transplant 20 months earlier...<br />I could not explain how I am able to do this. ..until now. ...thanks to your descriptive post....I disconnect myself. ..yet am able to show compassion. .even tears at times. ...<br />Now I hope to be able to better share the how of what I do everyday. <br />Thank you:)Anonymoushttps://www.blogger.com/profile/15598248756083194815noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1268746983441346507.post-49908688778401873292014-04-14T18:08:20.498-07:002014-04-14T18:08:20.498-07:00Gotta love PTSD, right? I've given up on fight...Gotta love PTSD, right? I've given up on fighting my triggers and opt for a combination of avoidance and Ativan. Mostly, I'm ok, but when I'm not, I'm able to recognize it, and take my meds enough to pass myself off as functional in polite society. I'm better than I was, but not as good as I can be. I over intellectualize my response to damn near everything. It worked to deal with his Cancer, but now...it's hard to trust what I feel. i *felt* hope...and it was a lie. I can't trust my emotions, they are too raw and dangerous. I trust logic. Katenoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1268746983441346507.post-40351139037295101122014-04-14T17:27:32.712-07:002014-04-14T17:27:32.712-07:00OH wow Cassie. I can sooo identify with this one. ...OH wow Cassie. I can sooo identify with this one. I do the same thing - for different reasons, but the same "disconnect" thing. I put my emotions and feelings on a shelf where I cant reach them (I just wrote about doing this with the idea of new relationships, in my last piece here on Widows Voice), and I do it with other things too. In therapy , sometimes, I can talk about something that hurts like hell and SAY it hurts like hell, but in my body, the words are coming out, but Im able to almost pretend Im talking about someone else. This is a good thing for me to realize about myself. Thanks for helping me realize it. Kelley Lynnhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/17289972201201027609noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1268746983441346507.post-11324088281119073862014-04-14T17:18:34.851-07:002014-04-14T17:18:34.851-07:00In her book, Second Firsts, author Christina Rasmu...In her book, Second Firsts, author Christina Rasmussen explains how the amygdala becomes hyper reactive after a loss. I hope your therapy is at least partly behavioral. Maybe that way you can "come back" quicker. Keep pushing that boulder! -SnowygirlAnonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1268746983441346507.post-45348589549840722462014-04-14T16:01:55.468-07:002014-04-14T16:01:55.468-07:00Cassie, for those like your dad, some just don'...Cassie, for those like your dad, some just don't recover from a death. I believe it is much harder for a man to survive. Man, head of household, main money earner, works to strive for family and saving for future years. Generally a man does much more on the womens side, dinners and going out and doing things. Generally a man doesn't have many male friends and basically leaves the high school friends Basically I'm trying to say is that we go out in the world establishing job, family, and life. When we lose our spouse, big shock without a lot of support. <br /><br />Cassie for you looking back now, is a little easier to understand what happened. Quite a life we go through. Take Care..Anonymousnoreply@blogger.com