tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1268746983441346507.post4855177056957427251..comments2024-02-21T02:19:16.755-08:00Comments on Widow's Voice: Seven Widowed Voices Sharing Love, Loss, and Hope : I Can't Make Up My Mind .... Part 2Michele Neff Hernandezhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02356589209090780127noreply@blogger.comBlogger2125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1268746983441346507.post-54106407923289237842009-10-28T09:24:08.633-07:002009-10-28T09:24:08.633-07:00Sure, you're crazy, Janine! ;o) (Just kidding,...Sure, you're crazy, Janine! ;o) (Just kidding, btw...or else it's just one crazy calling out "come join me!" to another fellow crazy. ;o))<br /><br />I had similar feelings about Charley's clothes. I dealt with them pretty early on--in the first 3-6 months or so. And I could NOT stand the thought of his dad or his sister's husband wearing his clothes. Just the mere idea of it or mental image of them wearing MY husband's clothes was enough to set off a furor in my head. I'd rather them go to Goodwill than see them on them when he was dead and could no longer wear them.<br /><br />I kept anything I had any sort of reaction to, even if I didn't necessarily know if I <i>wanted</i> to keep it, just in case I ever wished I hadn't disposed of it so quickly. Some I kept for me, just to know I still had the most important ones to me, and other things--like t-shirts--I kept for Anna someday. And I kept shoes. I don't really know why I did. They're all still in a big plastic tote in the garage. But I did give some clothes to my BIL (my sister's hubby), who was good friends with Charley and who continued to talk to me about his grief for Charley. And it wasn't ever really painful to see him in them, I don't think. Anymore, I get a weird jolt when I see something and I realize it looks oddly familiar, and then a second or two later I realize why, that it was Charley's. And it's kind of nice then, getting to see an 'old friend' again and get that quick, warm memory.<br /><br />Often times it's the thinking about it that's worse than actually doing it, like when I got rid of Charley's bike stuff or the bike he died on. Clothing can be a kind of weird one, but for me, it hasn't been too painful seeing it on someone I cared about...but it's all relative. There's no rush; you can always give your sons the clothes later, and perhaps they might mean a bit more to them as they get older or more time passes.<br /><br />Hugs,<br />CandiceCandicehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/11637366044613952294noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1268746983441346507.post-84221935889198080742009-10-28T07:48:29.168-07:002009-10-28T07:48:29.168-07:00Grief and pain seem to have a way of making each d...Grief and pain seem to have a way of making each day unsteady. The wind blows fiercely from one direction, you set your feet to brace yourself for its onslaught, only to have discovered that it is now howling from an unexpected quadrant. It is difficult to know exactly which decision is to be made or direction is be taken in your journey.<br />JBAnonymousnoreply@blogger.com