tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1268746983441346507.post5369085039090003621..comments2024-02-21T02:19:16.755-08:00Comments on Widow's Voice: Seven Widowed Voices Sharing Love, Loss, and Hope : The funeral revisitedMichele Neff Hernandezhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02356589209090780127noreply@blogger.comBlogger7125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1268746983441346507.post-29636798489037162482012-04-21T04:54:09.950-07:002012-04-21T04:54:09.950-07:00I don't know what to say. This is definitely o...I don't know what to say. This is definitely one of the better blogs Ive read. You're so insightful, have so much real stuff to bring to the table. I hope that more people read this and get what I got from it: chills. Great job and great blog. I cant wait to read more, keep em comin!Okmulgee funeral homeshttp://www.shurdenkelley.comnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1268746983441346507.post-42907512696601866742012-03-14T21:00:07.090-07:002012-03-14T21:00:07.090-07:00I am a new widow but just also lost my mom at eigh...I am a new widow but just also lost my mom at eighteen. My father was alcoholic and i felt very responsible for my two little brothers, ten and eleven. Teachers played a really important part in my life. I remember my journalism teaching, who had lost his wife, passing me little recipes and always asking how I was doing. That was over forty years ago and it is still a very important memory. I was so touched that someone in my life would care so much.Suzhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/01665971012821588161noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1268746983441346507.post-42561222766601076572012-03-13T17:04:07.481-07:002012-03-13T17:04:07.481-07:00This is a great post about awareness. I find it b...This is a great post about awareness. I find it bringing up feelings of anger in me, though. Anger both as one who has been widowed and also lost my father when I was nine, I am angry and tired of our society being so weird about death. I hate the look people get on their faces if you mention your lost loved one. Like they never existed. People who have experienced loss feel badly enough, they don't need people looking at them like they have two heads and going silent at the mention of the lost ones' name. We want to talk about our loved ones, they are part of us, and it helps us process our loss. It's like some stigma if you've lost someone, and it shouldn't be. Especially as a child, one is confused and trying to make sense of it all, and having the adults around you acting weird about it makes you feel even weirder, like there is something wrong with you or your family. Ugh. I doubt it will ever change. Good for you to commit to this little one, she will need someone who understands and allows her to talk about it without feeling like the odd man out.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1268746983441346507.post-48625161244344208022012-03-13T11:10:58.302-07:002012-03-13T11:10:58.302-07:00Oh yes, kids remember. My son was 17 when his Dad ...Oh yes, kids remember. My son was 17 when his Dad died, and not one teacher from his school came. He searched long and hard among all the people at the funeral, you know. I knew how disappointed he was, and made a point of going to visit the head teacher later, and I asked why? Why did no-one come? She had no answer. I told her how hurt he was, and she promised that they would never make that mistake again. The irony is that it was a church school. And my son never once mentioned his father's death at school - not to the pupils, and not to the staff. They knew, but they didn't talk to him about it. What seems such a small thing to those not in this position is in reality a HUGE thing. So I am so proud of you, and so thankful that that little child has you watching out for her.Lindshttps://www.blogger.com/profile/17141761866483224572noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1268746983441346507.post-22844343741277901572012-03-13T08:45:50.362-07:002012-03-13T08:45:50.362-07:00man - this just brought - my? his? own funeral rus...man - this just brought - my? his? own funeral rushing back at me.meganhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/10064483599165161879noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1268746983441346507.post-86307609639127147122012-03-13T07:37:37.799-07:002012-03-13T07:37:37.799-07:00Amanda, you rock in your zest to take this fatherl...Amanda, you rock in your zest to take this fatherless child under your protective wings and yet push her on to accomplish great things! And you will, cause you unfortunately can! <br /><br />Also, I can so relate to avoiding eye contact at the funeral. I remember just two years ago today burying my husband and keeping my eyes down not wanting to encounter any looks of pity and pain. I also thought if I made eye contact with anyone, then the funeral would be real and I was most definitely in denial. How strange. <br /><br />Thank you!!!!Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1268746983441346507.post-80228086699851759442012-03-13T07:36:12.246-07:002012-03-13T07:36:12.246-07:00Amanda, I applaud you for finding it in you to be ...Amanda, I applaud you for finding it in you to be there for that little girl at her Dad's funeral, a place/event which is so difficult to return to when it stings with your own memories. I cried when I read it because you are exactly right, that children DO remember who came to their parent's funeral for them. My son was four when I lost my husband unexpectedly 9 months ago and he remembers all of his preschool teachers who came for him that day. We are so fortunate to have wonderful teachers in my son's school who have the same attitude as you about propelling the children foward. I actually had to write a note to his teacher this week because he wants to talk about his Dad and dying now. On Sunday the Sunday school teacher shut him down completely about the conversation and took him out of the classroom. He felt like he was in trouble for talking about his father's death. I had to explain adults can be weird :) I reassured him he did nothing wrong, then wrote a note to his teacher at school in case he was also talking about his father there. She wrote me a wonderful note back that my son started talking about his father last week at school and they are completely encouraging it. So, thank you for being one of THOSE kinds of teachers, who encourage the growth of children and are there for them when they are working their way through their confusion and memories, at their pace.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.com