tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1268746983441346507.post7135036804279065535..comments2024-02-21T02:19:16.755-08:00Comments on Widow's Voice: Seven Widowed Voices Sharing Love, Loss, and Hope : There Have Been More Good ......Michele Neff Hernandezhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02356589209090780127noreply@blogger.comBlogger6125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1268746983441346507.post-22150891871433233102013-02-13T21:28:50.303-08:002013-02-13T21:28:50.303-08:00I am inspired by your post. Something for me to as...I am inspired by your post. Something for me to aspire to... It's the 3rd V-Day for me. Not doing that great at the moment. Certainly missing my Valentine tonight. But... Hated Valentine's Day for the longest time -- My hubby and I had only 1 'normal' V-Day - in 1995, our 1st after being married. He sent me flowers to my job, which made my female boss super jealous. Then my Mom bought a flower shop later that year... So, we worked every single V-Day after that. Lots of long hours, logistics of childcare, much hard work of preparation & planning & managing workloads and careful execution of everyone else's floral bouquets. He didn't dare bring me flowers for V-Day, especially roses! Lol But he usually made it special for me on the day-after. My Mom depended on us to help her (me more than hubby). Then he exited to Heaven in 2010. Last 2 years @ the flower shop for V-Day were... different. Not especially horrible, but still... hated. Because he wasn't there to help with the logistics of picking up our son from school, etc., well, I couldn't put in as many hours. This year, I had to tell my Mom I wouldn't be able to help her @ the shop much at all as I have way too much work at my regular job... And tonight, on the usual 'stay-at-the-shop-til-it-all-gets-done" V-Day eve, I feel like a complete fish out of water. I had "hated" being there for so many years, and now that I can't be there, I'm rather disappointed. Weird, i know. But, well, that was our 'normal' for almost 20 years and now I'm not sure what to do with myself. This will be my Mom's last V-Day at the shop as she is closing the doors this Spring. It's a double-edged sword, a love-hate thing. Glad I'm not there, but wishing I was... Hmmm. "normal" isn't quite the right word. In any case, thanks for letting me share; I feel a little better having 'talked' with you. I wish you all a peace-filled, love-provoking V-Day. Blessings.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1268746983441346507.post-44614817361516320522013-02-13T19:18:02.260-08:002013-02-13T19:18:02.260-08:00You are so lucky to have such wonderful people in ...You are so lucky to have such wonderful people in your life. I am bracing for one of the hardest days yet. Ron made every Valentine's Day Amazing. He would totally surprise me every year. Last year my daughter didn't want me to be without a surprise on my first Valentine's Day without him so she sent me a beautiful arrangement. I know there is nothing coming this year. I will feel his absence so much more tomorrow. Not that I don't feel it everyday but it will be more pronounced. Memories of Ronhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/16675244464777435446noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1268746983441346507.post-76145975508475057932013-02-13T11:05:16.531-08:002013-02-13T11:05:16.531-08:00Anon-
Yes, there is ...... it just takes a while t...Anon-<br />Yes, there is ...... it just takes a while to find it. Sometimes a long while. Or maybe it's the accepting of it that takes the longest time. None if us want/wanted a new normal. Our old one was perfectly fine, thank you very much. <br />But we didnt get a choice. It was thrust upon us. And it takes time to get to the place where we not only see the new normal, but come to terms with it. It takes a while for us to reach the point where we are able to make that choice. But it will be a choice. <br />In the meantime ...... keep breathing. lJaninehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/00949809367923657970noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1268746983441346507.post-44848770055021604502013-02-13T07:56:55.053-08:002013-02-13T07:56:55.053-08:00This will be my second V-Day without my wife....&q...This will be my second V-Day without my wife...."New Normal" is there such a thing.......Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1268746983441346507.post-28403170705676228602013-02-13T07:29:35.523-08:002013-02-13T07:29:35.523-08:00Janine, your post resonated with me today!!! One d...Janine, your post resonated with me today!!! One day last week we had snow and I came out in the morning to find my car cleaned off. I stood at the door and cried but they weren't grief tears, but appreciation tears. For I know who did it and I am truly blessed with some super wonderful neighbors. My day was made as well, just like your surprise flowers. <br /><br />Yes, the good and bad in people.... mostly good for me. <br /><br />I wish I could say on a positive note that my third valentine's day will be easy, but I miss my Valentine so very, very much just like the rest of us! <br /><br />Thanks for your encouragement! Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1268746983441346507.post-90951003731578370992013-02-13T06:44:35.846-08:002013-02-13T06:44:35.846-08:00It startled me and brought tears to my eyes when I...It startled me and brought tears to my eyes when I saw the arrangement left on your doorstep...it was the exact arrangement (including the cover on the pot) I had left in our new apartment for my companion to find on Valentine's Day when we stopped in to show it to some friends (we were just in the process of having the carpets cleaned before moving in). After his sudden death on April 9th I didn't know what to do with the tulips - so I let them dry out, etc. and last fall planted the bulbs in the garden of those friends that were with us that day in the apartment...oh what a flood of memories...and what a special friend you have that left you the bouquet. Valentine's Day for me this year will be a visit to Ron's gravesite to leave some red roses and say a silent prayer. Life will go on, as I am glad to see it has for you, and I hope to eventually get to the place where I will remember Ron on these special days with a smile rather than a sigh... Thank you for sharing this special moment in your life with the rest of us that unfortunately find ourselves on this site...it is a glimpse of the light at the end of the tunnel...<br /><br />Ted Anonymousnoreply@blogger.com