tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1268746983441346507.post7188697121550531624..comments2024-02-21T02:19:16.755-08:00Comments on Widow's Voice: Seven Widowed Voices Sharing Love, Loss, and Hope : A Different GriefMichele Neff Hernandezhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02356589209090780127noreply@blogger.comBlogger13125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1268746983441346507.post-72140258278986809222011-05-28T14:54:35.888-07:002011-05-28T14:54:35.888-07:00I have read many of the posts on this site and all...I have read many of the posts on this site and all have ben illuminating but this one hit a special cord in me. My husband died 20 months ago. Our only child, a son, was sixteen. I have been overwhelmed for so many reasons but none more than how to support my son. This has been very helpful and has validated my feeling and expressed them in a way I never could. <br />Thank YouAnonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1268746983441346507.post-86694304957140359572011-05-10T10:12:38.709-07:002011-05-10T10:12:38.709-07:00To Anonymous poster May 8th @ 2:11 PM:
My heart ...To Anonymous poster May 8th @ 2:11 PM: <br />My heart hurts for your aloneness on Mother's Day. May I suggest you join us at Widowed Village? There are others like us who have grown children who are either out of town or don't come by as often as we'd like. It's a good place to keep each other company. You'll find us at http://widowedvillage.org/ and I'm "Dianne in Nevada". Hope to see you over there.A Myeloma Widow's Journeyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/12981186370330523189noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1268746983441346507.post-7850088428197912412011-05-09T08:31:50.599-07:002011-05-09T08:31:50.599-07:00Kim,
T.A.N.W.Kim,<br />T.A.N.W.Janinehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/00949809367923657970noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1268746983441346507.post-55163460960861401902011-05-08T21:25:35.745-07:002011-05-08T21:25:35.745-07:00Hugs sweetie.
It was mother's day here (Oz) ye...Hugs sweetie.<br />It was mother's day here (Oz) yesterday too and I finally realised why my 8 yo daughter is so pedantic about goodbyes.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1268746983441346507.post-56126039952855845882011-05-08T20:22:42.622-07:002011-05-08T20:22:42.622-07:00Your post was wonderfully written. I could feel yo...Your post was wonderfully written. I could feel your heartache for your son. My son, too, lost his father when he was 12 years old. He is now fourteen and I can see that he struggles and is sad for his dad. Like you I did not know how I would feel today, but I could feel their dad in them.(I have two sons and a daughter) Our pain is very deep still, but I agree that we have to know that a child's pain is different than ours. Your writing said it perfectly. You and your children are in my prayers tonight.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1268746983441346507.post-25156179625749085682011-05-08T17:43:22.399-07:002011-05-08T17:43:22.399-07:00Thank you for this beautiful post. I think of all...Thank you for this beautiful post. I think of all of the people who I have been with while grieving my husband and the ones who I am most comfortable with are just like you - they can just be present. They don't feel the need to say anything. They witness your grief and in doing so, they send a powerful message - about the depth and truth of that pain. We each grieve something uniquely ours. Mothers Day is emotional. It brings with it the expectations and the joys and the heartache. My own children were here (they are grown) and as they left I felt grateful but also that ache of not having my husband here to talk with, as we always did after their visits. I try to be mother and father and find, I cannot. I feel speechless sometimes and I am unsure of my role for the first time in my life. I can't imagine how painful and difficult that is when you have young children at home. I think of you - the widows with young families trying so hard to keep going. Know, we are with you. Our experiences may not be the same but I, like many others, stand in awe of your strength and beauty and grace of spirit.<br />your children are blessed.<br />Happy Mothers Day for because of you, your children will become all they are meant to be.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1268746983441346507.post-39648569170971642152011-05-08T14:11:55.456-07:002011-05-08T14:11:55.456-07:00As I celebrate Mother's Day alone today, I'...As I celebrate Mother's Day alone today, I've became aware of some deep feelings. This morning my neighbor wished me happy Mother's Day, and I struggled not to cry. My boys are grown and this is my 3rd holiday without my husband. And what I miss the most is that my little family of 4--Mom, Dad, 2 sons--no longer exists. And I put so many years and so much effort into that family. And its gone in 6 months. That's the time it took my husband to die, and then my youngest son left for law school. So I've lived alone for 2 1/2 yrs. I keep my feelings deeply buried, because of the way I was raised, and today it struck me why I cried with my neighbor's good wishes. I think that is the main reason that I feel so lost, that in addition to losing my husband, I lost my family, and I'm essentially all alone, unless I ask a neighbor for help. My sons, my family of origin, and my husband's family are all in different states. And I'll always be alone unless I move close to my sons, or back to my hometown, or would meet someone, which I think is very unlikely. Girlfriends just aren't the same on holidays, cause they're with their families. All I can do for now is cry and get the sadness out. I went to a movie today to celebrate Mother's Day, and even that is a little difficult, because I'm usually the only one alone, and it is so hard to see couples out together. I'm sure there must be other widows who are as alone as I am. I'm glad that I have a place where I can speak my truth and not be judged. Thank you so much. I don't believe that I can really move forward until I get in touch with with my deepest feelings. And I'm sure they come to me as I'm ready for them. Blessings to all.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1268746983441346507.post-29790159704412504082011-05-08T14:01:14.371-07:002011-05-08T14:01:14.371-07:00Happy Mother's Day to all widows with children...Happy Mother's Day to all widows with children. My husband Martin passed away suddenly on 4/7/10 of chronic heart disease. We have a 9 and 1 year old, daughters. No one understands he depth of the grief and loneliness. I'm trying to connect with other widows with children in my area for support.rebeccaschildnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1268746983441346507.post-20663755604761071342011-05-08T10:12:03.134-07:002011-05-08T10:12:03.134-07:00Wow, Kim - what a beautiful, inspiring post. Its h...Wow, Kim - what a beautiful, inspiring post. Its honesty speaks to those of us with grown children, too. <br /><br />And my thanks to Sudden Widow, too: "Happy Mother's Day to the mothers we have become" is indeed a lovely phrase for all of us.A Myeloma Widow's Journeyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/12981186370330523189noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1268746983441346507.post-24503974767879936822011-05-08T09:45:27.638-07:002011-05-08T09:45:27.638-07:00Sudden Widow....a lovely phrase. "Happy Mothe...Sudden Widow....a lovely phrase. "Happy Mother's Day to the mother's we have become." I will use that all day and every Mother's Day going forward. Thank you.Kim T. Hamerhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/03244518692465692579noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1268746983441346507.post-15940670914483003652011-05-08T08:05:54.985-07:002011-05-08T08:05:54.985-07:00Beautiful post, Kim. My tears are flowing. My ol...Beautiful post, Kim. My tears are flowing. My oldest son was also 12 when my husband died and is now 14, physically and emotionally so different from the little boy he was when his Dad died. My husband was the principal and art teacher at the school where my boys attend and where I teach. I know how hard it was for me, especially at the beginning, and how hard it still can be at times. Just physically being in the space where he was and having others occupy his space who didn't even know him. But I haven't talked to the boys about it for a long time. I'm going to talk to them tonight... They are going to grief camp next weekend, which they are nervous about but I am so glad I'm giving them a gentle push in that direction, especially after reading your post. So much goes on in their heads and their hearts. I loved: "I see his grief and my grief as separate. I always saw it as the same.<br />He lost a father, someone that cannot be replaced.". So heartbreakingly true. Happy Mother's Day, to the mothers we've become.Debbiehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/13743446066024389563noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1268746983441346507.post-88800094184810520842011-05-08T06:22:25.414-07:002011-05-08T06:22:25.414-07:00Happy Mother's Day to us! Your post says it a...Happy Mother's Day to us! Your post says it all - I don't know what to say because you put it all so perfectly and I so needed to read this, especially today! Bless you and all the women that are widowed Mother's today.jlikestravelnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1268746983441346507.post-24975447242389565962011-05-08T03:11:00.866-07:002011-05-08T03:11:00.866-07:00wow! that was powerfull. I wish I could hug you bo...wow! that was powerfull. I wish I could hug you both. You are in my prayers. Happy Mother's Day.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.com