tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1268746983441346507.post7411777665568695150..comments2024-02-21T02:19:16.755-08:00Comments on Widow's Voice: Seven Widowed Voices Sharing Love, Loss, and Hope : On Your Mark. Get Set. WHAT?Michele Neff Hernandezhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02356589209090780127noreply@blogger.comBlogger13125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1268746983441346507.post-78146099356616782312013-04-01T04:46:54.195-07:002013-04-01T04:46:54.195-07:00im on roughly the same time frame as you (aug 24, ...im on roughly the same time frame as you (aug 24, 2011 an accident too ) but I also buried my 19 month old son due to an accident 25 yrs ago. what I finally realized is the important questions will never have answers and even if they did the answer would never be good enough to justify the pain so I quit searching for them. it takes so much energy to search and for me accepting that ill never have the answer allowed me to channel that energy into something positive that I could see the results of...you are a wonderful writer and touch a chord with in every postAnonymoushttps://www.blogger.com/profile/08392780280396422957noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1268746983441346507.post-51597651874835620012013-03-31T16:31:17.025-07:002013-03-31T16:31:17.025-07:00Thank you so much Kelly. I am 8 years into widowh...Thank you so much Kelly. I am 8 years into widowhood and lately, I have been feeling so down and needy and your insight into insecurities being magnified without the ability to talk things over with your love, hit the nail on the head. It made so much sense and now I don't feel so crazy. Joannehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/05527441976161121368noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1268746983441346507.post-16541844960401201132013-03-30T22:01:02.264-07:002013-03-30T22:01:02.264-07:00Powerful post Kelley, what your counsellor said re...Powerful post Kelley, what your counsellor said really jumped out at me - "level of pain, equal to level of love shared". Makes such sense. It's almost ten years for me, and yes I've gotten on with life, I've learned ways to live with the changes and I'm by no means a better person for the experience of widow-hood, but I'm for sure a different person. Sometimes, I seriously wonder if that 'finish line' exists.<br />Keep your chin up girl, and I'm very concerned for you about your accommodation situation.<br />Hugs<br />RoseRose ~ from Ozhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/01908281749611280188noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1268746983441346507.post-41204915788040676302013-03-30T06:37:21.620-07:002013-03-30T06:37:21.620-07:00My thoughts are with you... this is a hard journey...My thoughts are with you... this is a hard journey. I'm here if you need me!Debbiehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/05433966409532180055noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1268746983441346507.post-56353907041638906312013-03-30T06:35:25.502-07:002013-03-30T06:35:25.502-07:00My husband died in October- right out of the gate ...My husband died in October- right out of the gate I had his birthday, Thanksgiving, Christmas, New Years, my birthday and Valentines day within 4 months. Almost did me in...Debbiehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/05433966409532180055noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1268746983441346507.post-54848842155846895062013-03-29T18:52:33.260-07:002013-03-29T18:52:33.260-07:00Great post Kelley, I'm 8 months out and keep t...Great post Kelley, I'm 8 months out and keep trying to run this marathon, but like all of you, I'm exhausted and confused a lot of the time. Now, we have another holiday, am I the only one that never realized how many stinking holidays there are? Suzinoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1268746983441346507.post-61447104335030421092013-03-29T16:26:23.745-07:002013-03-29T16:26:23.745-07:00Kelley, what a perfect time for me and this post. ...Kelley, what a perfect time for me and this post. I had just told someone that I felt like I have fallen backwards a few months. Everything is caving in again. Not that it has been good by any means but thought I was finally making a little progress. Almost 8 months since the loss of my husband to a long battle with cancer. I'm 55. Feeling panicy and every little thing is a mountain. And how could I feel this tired when I wake in the morning. It is exhausting all day long. And no one cheering me on and giving me water and orange slices. I'll just have to figure it out on my own and continue to visit this blog for support.<br />Thank youAnonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1268746983441346507.post-2622517103126098152013-03-29T13:37:29.820-07:002013-03-29T13:37:29.820-07:00Kelley, what an awesome blog and perfect analogy. ...Kelley, what an awesome blog and perfect analogy. Everything you said, fits my experience perfectly. I am three years out, but still have days when the exhaustion of just fighting to keep two feet grounded is unimaginable. <br /><br />Your contribution to this website is priceless and please don't ever forget that. Your roommate might not need you, but this widow/(er) community thrives on your being. <br /><br />Hugs and thanks! Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1268746983441346507.post-86215408956113694472013-03-29T09:40:14.608-07:002013-03-29T09:40:14.608-07:00great article, two weeks out today. :(
great article, two weeks out today. :(<br />Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1268746983441346507.post-22965971377387742902013-03-29T08:35:31.875-07:002013-03-29T08:35:31.875-07:00Your words remind me of Victor Frankl. When he was...Your words remind me of Victor Frankl. When he was in his 30s, he found himself in a concentration camp. Both he and most of his inmates were faced with the loss of their entire families as well as the unimaginable physical and emotional suffering brought to them by their oppressors.<br /><br />Please know that I’m not saying that to suggest that some people have it worse than you. I wouldn’t dream of saying that. Your pain is your pain, it cannot be measured and I respect that and honor that.<br /><br />I’m bringing this up because what Victor Frankl found (he was a psychiatrist and interested in how the human mind works, even there) was that there was one single factor that enabled people to not only survive these unimaginable circumstances but also grow through them. This single factor was their willingness to find or create some kind of meaning in what seemed to be an utterly meaningless situation.<br /><br />It didn't really matter whether that meaning made sense or not from a rational point of view. It mattered that they found a meaning and were able to stick to it.<br /><br />So this is the challenge of widowhood too: Find or create a meaning for yourself, and then make your life a journey with a meaning, even when it goes through hell. <br /><br />As you suggest at the end of your post, there will be more answers than questions eventually, and there absolutely is a meaning to your journey. <br /><br />You might not be able to find that meaning today or tomorrow, but if you are willing to find it or to create it, you will not only experience that this marathon has both a purpose, a finish line, and some good pit stops along the way ... but you will also come out of it stronger and with more gifts for yourself and for the people around you than you can imagine. Including peace in your mind and joy in your heart.<br /> <br />You can do it! <br /><br />Many warm greetings<br /><br />Halina<br />Halina Goldsteinhttp://halinagoldstein.com/blognoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1268746983441346507.post-18614230874643452172013-03-29T07:16:21.519-07:002013-03-29T07:16:21.519-07:00I loved this article Kelley, and the analogy you u...I loved this article Kelley, and the analogy you used in it. This is something that so many of us can relate to feeling. Thank you for capturing it so well, as you always do. Good work. Arthelihttps://www.blogger.com/profile/11898065902404091173noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1268746983441346507.post-47610254615228253582013-03-29T06:44:22.378-07:002013-03-29T06:44:22.378-07:00"And my husband isn't here to talk me out..."And my husband isn't here to talk me out of my insecurities, so they magnify and they grow and they manifest. And then that weighs on my heart, and I begin to doubt myself and my progress." - word. He isn't here to process the normal reflections and questions with, no one knows you well enough to get it, to understand it and - yeah, all of that. It is a gag-order, lonely-making, never-ending marathon with no orange wedges. meganhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/10064483599165161879noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1268746983441346507.post-20167005968054115882013-03-29T04:16:29.050-07:002013-03-29T04:16:29.050-07:00Although I'm only 6 months out, I know exactly...Although I'm only 6 months out, I know exactly what you're saying. It goes from non-stop friends on the sideline to no more water bottles and orange slices, and you have to figure out all this crap on your own. And it sucks! I don't know how to do this on my own.. Great post!Debbiehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/05433966409532180055noreply@blogger.com