tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1268746983441346507.post7847621175246376133..comments2024-02-21T02:19:16.755-08:00Comments on Widow's Voice: Seven Widowed Voices Sharing Love, Loss, and Hope : Plus OneMichele Neff Hernandezhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02356589209090780127noreply@blogger.comBlogger6125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1268746983441346507.post-79376444033879612802015-01-15T00:24:17.684-08:002015-01-15T00:24:17.684-08:00I am 54, have been a widow for 4+ years, and now h...I am 54, have been a widow for 4+ years, and now have a 3 year long, regular "companion", if you will. A high school friend of my son's - who my husband & I were family friends with during those years - is getting married in a few weeks. I received the invitation today without a "plus one". The family knows of my relationship and some of them have even met my friend. I am shocked and hurt. I was so looking forward to this wedding, but have made the decision not to attend. Weddings are a "couples" thing, and I am part of a couple. Why would I want to go alone, spending the evening with lots of couple, when my S/O - the one I do have fun with - is not invited. Makes no sense to me. People just don't get the widow/widower thing.....:(Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1268746983441346507.post-9400547244550617412011-08-12T18:06:28.735-07:002011-08-12T18:06:28.735-07:00Oh, yes, the visual affronts. They still sting ve...Oh, yes, the visual affronts. They still sting very much after almost two years. It is like reality driving a knife into your heart. I am particularly offended when someone addresses me as "Ms." I have been "Mrs." for 28 years. I earned that title, and I'd like the respect of keeping it. Technically, one loses that title through divorce, but retains it in widowhood. I would like people to respect it.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1268746983441346507.post-10425897573797333482011-08-12T10:00:55.730-07:002011-08-12T10:00:55.730-07:00Well said Wendy. There is no way to know how to a...Well said Wendy. There is no way to know how to address it that would not have caused some reaction. I remember that I was aware that I was alone but still felt as if part of a couple. My perspective changed hourly in the beginning. Its funny that three years out and I feel as if David is still my husband but that I don't feel married.<br /><br />I too was invited to a wedding shortly after David died...it was David's childhood friend. I couldn't bear to go to the reception...dancing and laughing was not a part of my repertoire at the time. I did attend the ceremony. The happy couple understood and I was grateful for the opportunity and strength to witness their nuptials. <br /><br />When you heal enough and open your heart again to ______ you can make my invite to Deborah and Dr. Drew or Deborah and Matthew McConaughey.Deborah Petteyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/09420122633283009717noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1268746983441346507.post-32137371711832670942011-08-12T06:22:10.738-07:002011-08-12T06:22:10.738-07:00How cute! Loved your post. Conversely, I just re...How cute! Loved your post. Conversely, I just received a wedding invitation addressed to me and just me. I went into a fit of rage over that. Do they think I want to get all dressed up to come alone which will make it that much harder? Do they think I am such a loser I couldn't find a date? <br /><br />Don't we all miss having that guaranteed dance partner! Thank you for saying it so well.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1268746983441346507.post-70784862222168986322011-08-12T06:21:14.041-07:002011-08-12T06:21:14.041-07:00This was great. I, too had the same experience rig...This was great. I, too had the same experience right after my husband died. I didn't go either. But since then I did have to attend a slew of weddings. It seemed as if everyone of my friend's children and/or nieces and nephews decided to get married the 2 years after Michael died. I'm going to one tomorrow and I'll tell you, weddings are the hardest things to attend on your own. It just hurts and I hate the way people look at me there.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1268746983441346507.post-19024501672121803252011-08-12T03:32:20.378-07:002011-08-12T03:32:20.378-07:00This gave me a giggle - I have to admit that since...This gave me a giggle - I have to admit that since I can no longer have the "guest" I love accompany me to anything, George or Hugh would be OK at a pinch ;)Anonymousnoreply@blogger.com