tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1268746983441346507.post8350588581747197539..comments2024-02-21T02:19:16.755-08:00Comments on Widow's Voice: Seven Widowed Voices Sharing Love, Loss, and Hope : "Screw" You, IKEA! Michele Neff Hernandezhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02356589209090780127noreply@blogger.comBlogger14125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1268746983441346507.post-57552666562256734032013-06-04T11:02:15.096-07:002013-06-04T11:02:15.096-07:00Just catching up on this blog... and wow... I had ...Just catching up on this blog... and wow... I had a moment like this that I wrote about on my own blog: http://itsourjourney.wordpress.com/2012/01/24/draining/<br /><br />I can relate. Everything that I have to do that Hubs did before... it's just.. irritating.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1268746983441346507.post-44300522885744669002013-05-29T07:38:51.143-07:002013-05-29T07:38:51.143-07:00I can so completely relate to this. It was wonderf...I can so completely relate to this. It was wonderful to finally have somebody to rely on, to be in it together with. Finally, all of the responsibility did not fall on my shoulders alone. To have that taken away after getting it for such a short time truly sucks.Anonymoushttps://www.blogger.com/profile/05851021325791634049noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1268746983441346507.post-79533684502385104202013-05-27T08:25:08.544-07:002013-05-27T08:25:08.544-07:00It's not the fact of setting up furniture, or ...It's not the fact of setting up furniture, or going to a meeting, or cooking/cleaning up that so bothers me...it is the "doing it alone" that really, really sucks. I was always the one that did the furniture setting up/construction - but my partner was there to offer comments (sometimes helpful, sometimes not...lol) but the fact that he was there was the point. Now I find myself facing holidays again(didn't take any last year after his death) and not wanting to take them...why would I...hoiday alone with no one to say, "did you see that or hear that" or "lets's do this today or meet with these friends today". It's me, all alone, to do whatever - but why? What fun, pleasure or enjoyment is there in that - absolutely NONE! One of my biggest misses is our conversations when we'd start off with "remember when..." can't have those anymore...I so miss that.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1268746983441346507.post-85930561980929425872013-05-26T12:27:00.407-07:002013-05-26T12:27:00.407-07:00I LOVE this!! Thank you for putting into words wha...I LOVE this!! Thank you for putting into words what I have also felt for over a year now! You made me laugh and it's so true....everything about it. I especially love the part about "setting it ablaze" --helps to get some aggression out just thinking the thought:) Now every time I see an Ikea piece I will think of you..and we all know it's not about "Ikea". <br />Best to you and keep on sharing--AlohaAnonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1268746983441346507.post-44941924160511091592013-05-24T18:20:33.031-07:002013-05-24T18:20:33.031-07:00My sucky do-it-alone moment came this week, after ...My sucky do-it-alone moment came this week, after having the water heater replaced (and did it really need replacing or was I taken?)... checking in the basement for leaks prior to leaving for several days... finding water all over the floor and leaks at the pressure tank...not wanting to now call for a plumber. I did do the fix myself with help over the phone, but only after adding more water in the form of tears to the floor as I mopped up the mess.<br /><br />Yes, we can do things, but it sure was nice to have someone else there to help, each of us doing what came naturally to us. Here it is Friday night, just finished the lawn, holiday weekend just begun, looking at catching up at my house before work week starts again. I am so tired of my never ending list. Ditto that it all just reminds me that he's gone.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1268746983441346507.post-75684317880587290782013-05-24T15:44:46.051-07:002013-05-24T15:44:46.051-07:00Last Sunday I had to be at an event and when I got...Last Sunday I had to be at an event and when I got there I had to park in a remote parking lot. Ordinarily this wouldn't have been that bad but I have a groin injury (I know TMI . . .) and it was pouring rain. I almost gave up and went home but since I was in charge of said event, I limped through the rain in pain -- heartache and groin-ache. All I could think of was I no longer have anyone to say "I'll drop you off and meet you in there." There's more dropping off and meeting in there. I'm so sad about that.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1268746983441346507.post-71030288549826406492013-05-24T15:25:00.734-07:002013-05-24T15:25:00.734-07:00I totally relate to this! Tom and I married "...I totally relate to this! Tom and I married "later", , and so for years, I was Ms. Self-Sufficient! I took pride in being able to "do". But, this week, I came a-p-a-r-t because I couldn't work the GAS CAN! (The new, fancy EPA regulated cans that don't let fumes (or gas) -escape!). I cried & carried on. . Wish I could say that was the first time- but no, two weeks before that it was trying to figure out how to work the darn plumbing snake. I stood there, snaking the toilet, crying and thinking -"My life sucks.". I miss all he did for us. I miss all we did together. I hate doing it all alone. Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1268746983441346507.post-70891140621458975322013-05-24T14:36:08.619-07:002013-05-24T14:36:08.619-07:00That is really great to hear about IKEA, Anonymous...That is really great to hear about IKEA, Anonymous. Im really happy that they were and continue to be so kind to you during these times. Nice to know that some companies out there are supportive and understanding when we need it most. Thanks for sharing.<br /><br />p.s. Their "do it yourself with our lame-ass instructions" furniture still sucks LOL. Kelley Lynnhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/17289972201201027609noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1268746983441346507.post-70031513186329628622013-05-24T14:08:44.676-07:002013-05-24T14:08:44.676-07:00Kelly, I frequently curse the world when trying to...Kelly, I frequently curse the world when trying to get the lawn tools to work, put air in the tires, assemble Ikea furnish or whatever the task is at hand. Sadly, it absolutely sucks having to figure all this out alone. No one can try to tell me differently. <br /><br />Wishing you more "assembled" furniture as you trudge forward. Thanks so much for sharing your thoughts. <br /><br />Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1268746983441346507.post-28011454091224671512013-05-24T13:27:07.979-07:002013-05-24T13:27:07.979-07:00Love this! Thank you for posting. Screw you 'i...Love this! Thank you for posting. Screw you 'insert name here'!!! This blog is one of few places where I feel sane. As sane as one can feel in widow land.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1268746983441346507.post-16441066014623029912013-05-24T12:32:29.088-07:002013-05-24T12:32:29.088-07:00I work for IKEA and I know there is nothing I can ...I work for IKEA and I know there is nothing I can say to change your mind because I understand that it isn't so much about IKEA but the fact you have to do this alone. I felt this way about my sprinklers and A/C and it sent me into a tailspin! <br />To ease some of your dislike of IKEA can I say in their defense that they offer amazing insurance which saw my husband through a horrible journey through cancer. They also supported me through my grief in the most amazing ways. They have even donated items to our local widow support group. <br />I know this doesn't change your opinion or hurt. They have just been so good to me that I had to write in defense of them. Sending you HUGS and wishing you the very best. Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1268746983441346507.post-7123820310050799012013-05-24T12:29:13.168-07:002013-05-24T12:29:13.168-07:00Yep.
Just last night as I dragged the garbage and...Yep. <br />Just last night as I dragged the garbage and recycle bins out to the curb, I sighed and thought - 'this sucks'. Even though I took out the garbage regularly when Dave was alive - it didn't ALWAYS rest on my shoulders. <br />Life is just easier with two people going through it together. And you're right - it needs to be the right partner.<br /><br />I rarely feel empowered when I 'accomplish' things that Dave used to take care of. They're just another reminder that he's gone and nobody's going to take care of it but me.<br /><br />Last year at this time I bought a wooden patio set from IKEA and so I had a table and 4 chairs to assemble. <br />As usual I was too proud to ask anybody for help. <br />I understand the added grief that 'some assembly required' truly means.<br />Doing that shit alone just sucks.<br />Valeriehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/04512708135377541004noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1268746983441346507.post-76860828998104870052013-05-24T08:30:40.812-07:002013-05-24T08:30:40.812-07:00Yes. Just YES... This is really how it is.Yes. Just YES... This is really how it is.DJnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1268746983441346507.post-44289378429099422192013-05-24T02:47:16.222-07:002013-05-24T02:47:16.222-07:00exactly. Just because you can do shit on your own ...exactly. Just because you can do shit on your own doesn't mean it's a coup to do so. meganhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/10064483599165161879noreply@blogger.com