tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1268746983441346507.post8603478004036166176..comments2024-02-21T02:19:16.755-08:00Comments on Widow's Voice: Seven Widowed Voices Sharing Love, Loss, and Hope : How Boring!Michele Neff Hernandezhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02356589209090780127noreply@blogger.comBlogger11125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1268746983441346507.post-53447687841864974382012-03-14T23:53:57.272-07:002012-03-14T23:53:57.272-07:00Thank you so much for this post! It hurts me so mu...Thank you so much for this post! It hurts me so much to hear my friends complain about their boyfriends and husbands. Life is too short, and oh, so very precious. I'd give almost anything for one more "boring" night with my K...<br />Love,<br />DebraDebrahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/03055926536823339471noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1268746983441346507.post-81027990176366339212012-03-14T21:03:51.352-07:002012-03-14T21:03:51.352-07:00Beautiful way of handling this situation. i treasu...Beautiful way of handling this situation. i treasure my last Valentine. My brother bought them and sneaked them in to my husband (who was quite sick) and me. We both wrote in cards we never would have picked and laughed at my brothers silly antics. I will keep that card forever. I wish I had kept more but you never expect it to be the end.Suzhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/01665971012821588161noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1268746983441346507.post-35025346503070638922012-03-13T08:03:32.868-07:002012-03-13T08:03:32.868-07:00Thank you anon for your kind words. I got through ...Thank you anon for your kind words. I got through another day, and am moving on to the next. All I can do.Cathynoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1268746983441346507.post-81097292808082925222012-03-12T17:42:56.724-07:002012-03-12T17:42:56.724-07:00To Cathy, I know it's not a happy anniversary,...To Cathy, I know it's not a happy anniversary, but know that people here understand how you feel today. I try to remember the good times on my day, and feel proud of myself for having a long, happy, faithful marriage. Last year I bought a cake and had a drink and toasted us. I lost my soulmate, but we hung in there together through it all and through some very difficult and heartbreaking years of illness. So I hope you don't mind if I wish you a Happy Anniversary. Your marriage still holds happy memories and a reason to be very proud today.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1268746983441346507.post-37835827050184077792012-03-12T14:45:24.769-07:002012-03-12T14:45:24.769-07:00Ariana,
I get it...my husbands cousin moved out fo...Ariana,<br />I get it...my husbands cousin moved out for the winter, her husband had "too many issues she could not deal with". They were so trivial (who controlled the tv remote, who did the dishes, etc). These are retired, educated adults! She finally realized that what she was talking about to me was so stupid, she knew that I would give anything have my husband by my side.<br /><br />Yes, those around you do continue their lives, and you are left in the past, wishing for the future that you had planned. It doesn't get any easier very quickly, but you have made it this far, and will continue to go on. Hang in there, you will become more accepting, and have more compassion for those following you.Cathynoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1268746983441346507.post-91326559785983739732012-03-12T13:21:51.233-07:002012-03-12T13:21:51.233-07:00Wow. Frozen in time, trying to defrost. That is a ...Wow. Frozen in time, trying to defrost. That is a perfect way to describe this time! Thanks for putting it to words. That's exactly how it feels. Hang in there. We'll walk this journey together, K?Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1268746983441346507.post-5058705312278569012012-03-12T13:18:14.807-07:002012-03-12T13:18:14.807-07:00Yeah, as life carries on, it's probably easy f...Yeah, as life carries on, it's probably easy for them to momentarily forget. Not so much, for us!Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1268746983441346507.post-40378446076681221632012-03-12T13:17:06.001-07:002012-03-12T13:17:06.001-07:00Thanks, Cathy. I think maybe it was the opposite o...Thanks, Cathy. I think maybe it was the opposite of courage! Sometimes I'm polite to a fault. Maybe it would have been good to remind them of that which they take for granted. Then again, maybe they deserve to be blissfully ignorant like I was once.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1268746983441346507.post-43906748911088657002012-03-12T12:49:29.926-07:002012-03-12T12:49:29.926-07:00"To settle in, with your love, on the couch a..."To settle in, with your love, on the couch at the end of a hard day and know that you have each other, even when the rest of the world feels out to get you? To feel THAT again? I'd do anything."<br /><br />I feel this way EVERY day for the last 6 months, since my fiance died, when I walk into my empty apartment. Even if I had a great day or evening with loved ones, walking through that door and he's not there to greet me with a hug and kiss just hits me right in the chest. Especially after a tough, overwhelming day at the office. All I want is to have his arms around me on the couch as we watch our fave tv shows. Now I just sit alone like a lump on the couch. I miss having that loving outlet for my stress so much. <br /><br />And every time I see or hear of a couple fighting over meaningless things, I want to do the same thing: grab them by the collars, give them a good shake and tell them "THIS ISN'T WORTH THE FIGHT! STOP IT!" But what can you do, the arguments, that's all part of the relationship. <br /><br />People around you just continue with their lives and their problems, and they don't realize that you are still frozen in time, and trying to defrost and move forward. But it does show you how you yourself and others take what they have with their loved ones for granted...Arianahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/07929790754309363287noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1268746983441346507.post-65078180256317026122012-03-12T09:40:27.843-07:002012-03-12T09:40:27.843-07:00Valentine's Day...
I play volleyball with a gr...Valentine's Day...<br />I play volleyball with a group of women I've known for many years - some decades even. All of them are married.<br />This year as they all complained about how they were doing nothing with their spouses anymore, I sat down and pretended to re-tie my shoelaces.<br />Like you I don't comment how thankful they should be that they have a husband waiting for them when they get home. That they can share how fun their evening was. They were all very supportive when Dave died. But I think as time goes on that people in general, at work and socially, temporarily even 'forget' that I'm alone now. It's not like it's always on their minds - like it is with us.<br /><br />I don't fault them. I definitely know that I was the same. Clueless.Valeriehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/04512708135377541004noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1268746983441346507.post-13511791218991868202012-03-12T08:25:58.745-07:002012-03-12T08:25:58.745-07:00What courage and insight you have Cassie, to stand...What courage and insight you have Cassie, to stand there and not react to the 2 women. I do believe I would have had to say something, and it probably wouldn't have been a good scene.<br /><br />We do take things for granted, and yes, I think the only way to learn is the hard way, especially when it involves the death of your spouse or loved one. Today is my 30/40 anniversary (30 years married/40 years together) and I would give anything to have another eve at home, just being together. The loneliness of not being a couple today is heavy, half of me is gone and I'm not sure if I can ever be whole again. Guess I'll keep on learning.Cathynoreply@blogger.com