tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1268746983441346507.post8717394818542910004..comments2024-02-21T02:19:16.755-08:00Comments on Widow's Voice: Seven Widowed Voices Sharing Love, Loss, and Hope : My Other RingMichele Neff Hernandezhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02356589209090780127noreply@blogger.comBlogger10125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1268746983441346507.post-59876543598136871072011-05-30T15:20:47.346-07:002011-05-30T15:20:47.346-07:00At 20 months out, I still wear my wedding rings. I...At 20 months out, I still wear my wedding rings. I wear my diamond band & engagement ring on my left hand (it was the ring we renewed our vows with and a 10th anniversary gift from my husband). My original gold band and his band I wear together on a chain around my neck, sometimes I take of the chain and pin the bands together into my bra (close to my heart) - for me I still feel married in my heart and soul and for now I have no intensions of taking them off -ever......I don't know what the future holds but it's how I feel now, I've dealt with enough change - I don't need to change my rings for society - in my heart my Mike is still my husband.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1268746983441346507.post-84490911536087492462011-05-30T06:09:59.438-07:002011-05-30T06:09:59.438-07:00This was yet again here when I needed to read it. ...This was yet again here when I needed to read it. Thanks for the posts.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1268746983441346507.post-24725966337793780382011-05-29T23:22:00.859-07:002011-05-29T23:22:00.859-07:00I am so afraid of losing my rings that I have take...I am so afraid of losing my rings that I have taken them off and put them on the chain with his pendants that he always wore, and have hung them over George's photo on my bedside cabinet, at least I know that my rings and Georges chain are safe - I did wear the chain at first, but it has broken a few times I think being so old, and it would be a disaster to lose it, so I only wear it now on very special occassions - like family events, weddings etc.....Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1268746983441346507.post-10104640134151498572011-05-29T14:58:55.992-07:002011-05-29T14:58:55.992-07:00At six months I moved my wedding ring to my right ...At six months I moved my wedding ring to my right hand, and there it has remained since and will remain, as far as I'm concerned, until I die. If I ever fall in love again (which, right now, at fifteen months after the loss of my only love, feels like a BIG if), I hope my new man is as understanding as yours. Well, he'd have to be or I wouldn't fall in love with him.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1268746983441346507.post-72267261469975640982011-05-29T14:19:26.387-07:002011-05-29T14:19:26.387-07:00That manicurist was beyond insensitive! What a ni...That manicurist was beyond insensitive! What a nightmare, I hate being blindsided. I'm at 19 months, still wearing my band on my left ring finger. My husbands' ring is too big for any of my fingers. I wore it on a chain around my neck for a couple of months, then took it off, but I always keep it with me (in my purse) wherever I go. I took mine off for a day here and there, but it so uncomfortable not to wear it. I feel insecure and like a traitor. I like your solution. I've thought about switching my ring to my right hand, but never thought about having his resized and wearing it. It's a good idea, though, it makes sense. During my entire 28 year marriage, no one ever asked me if I was married (guess my rings made it obvious). For some weird reason, I have been asked that question twice in the past 19 months, even though I have a ring on. Both times I have been so caught off guard that I have stared at the person and could not talk, and felt like my brain exploded. Then I was able to mumble something about being widowed. Problem is, I still feel married. That has not changed. I still feel married completely, like our souls are still very much joined. Maybe I'm crazy. So I don't know how to handle that question very well. Thanks for another good post.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1268746983441346507.post-1209427451849476162011-05-29T09:56:36.551-07:002011-05-29T09:56:36.551-07:00Thank you for this post. It has been almost two ye...Thank you for this post. It has been almost two years and I still wear my wedding bands. I finally put my husband's ring in my jewelry box after I wore it on my thumb for awhile. I took my rings off last week while gardening and tried to leave them off for a week. I was ok with it, but it is still so hard so I put them back on. I like reading other people's ideas on how to go through this and what i could do. It is such a symbol of 22 years together and absolutely my best friend. I am so thrilled you have met such an understanding new man. I wish you many happy years together.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1268746983441346507.post-11668775957493419162011-05-29T09:39:41.778-07:002011-05-29T09:39:41.778-07:00I love this, Michelle! Love the wedding picture so...I love this, Michelle! Love the wedding picture so much, too. The idea that we fulfilled the honor and the obligation of love til death parted us stays with me constantly. The idea that this love continues and evolves well past my husband's death is something I discuss with only a chosen few, as people tend to get freaked by the idea that this love is somehow more spooky and unexplainable than that same love between two people in the same physical realm. Believe me, I am surprised by this adaptation and continuation of love too - this was not something I expected to feel.<br /> <br />I still wear my rings, on the third finger of my left hand. This does not mean I will always wear them. It doesn't mean I will never give and accept love from another. It does mean that only someone who knows me well enough to know why I wear the rings will be allowed to enter into relationship with the person I am now - the person that was shaped by this marriage, the person that continues to hold, to accept and to give the love of the husband I once had.carolynhttp://throughawidowseyes.wordpress.comnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1268746983441346507.post-21907688108814551312011-05-29T08:49:42.175-07:002011-05-29T08:49:42.175-07:00I love this Michelle, Thank You! I had my ring res...I love this Michelle, Thank You! I had my ring resized and wear it on my middle finger of my left hand,Jeffrey had designed it himself so it's never going far. It's still there to 'fiddle' with when I need to...I hope I am blessed to meet a man even half as understanding as yours!!Julie Richards Di Benenoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1268746983441346507.post-28975826128234634722011-05-29T06:36:50.498-07:002011-05-29T06:36:50.498-07:00I'm floored by the insensitivity of that manic...I'm floored by the insensitivity of that manicurist. And at 4 months I know that the shock of everything is still so raw that I wouldn't have known what to say either. (I'm at almost a year now, so at this point I'd have a few choice words to share and then would probably have to find a new manicurist!)<br /><br />I'm still wearing my rings and Dave's ring is on my left thumb. Not sure when that will change as I don't really care to change it.<br /><br />And congratulations again on your new ring! <br />:)Valeriehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/04512708135377541004noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1268746983441346507.post-11040659397099493262011-05-29T05:30:36.965-07:002011-05-29T05:30:36.965-07:00You are very lucky to meet such a wondeful man, bu...You are very lucky to meet such a wondeful man, but if you really think about it isn't it what we all want to be loved and remebered when we die? My journey with trying to figure out what to do with my ring and how to honor my husband and our life together ended when I bought a ring containing his birthstone and then a family ring with all of our birth stones. It was a way to honor the happy life I had.It is simple not to much. The next man I am with will need to get why I wear it,Anonymousnoreply@blogger.com