tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1268746983441346507.post340345873529493471..comments2024-02-21T02:19:16.755-08:00Comments on Widow's Voice: Seven Widowed Voices Sharing Love, Loss, and Hope : The Grief CriticMichele Neff Hernandezhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02356589209090780127noreply@blogger.comBlogger12125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1268746983441346507.post-76297115690454365462014-11-30T11:36:39.049-08:002014-11-30T11:36:39.049-08:00Awww thank you. Awww thank you. Kelley Lynnhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/17289972201201027609noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1268746983441346507.post-11663871178261384542014-11-30T11:36:18.151-08:002014-11-30T11:36:18.151-08:00And isnt it sad that some people consider "be...And isnt it sad that some people consider "being with someone else" the definition of "moving on?" For me, one has nothing to do with the other. My healing has nothing to do with whether or not I choose to be in another relationship. makes me so angry that people equate the two things like that. Kelley Lynnhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/17289972201201027609noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1268746983441346507.post-19136073017272120142014-11-29T07:10:38.168-08:002014-11-29T07:10:38.168-08:00Yep, been hanging with my widow/widower group for ...Yep, been hanging with my widow/widower group for almost 5 years, birds of a feather do flock together. I no longer anticipate being included in anything our old friends do together, that way I am not feeling left out. Sad, but true. They no longer want to be reminded what might happen, what will happen, one day. As has been said before "I am their worst nightmare". I do get this, I am just saddened that this is the way it is. Thank you Kelley for broaching this topic, telling it like it is for those new to their loss.Cathynoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1268746983441346507.post-7106579592344577402014-11-29T04:38:01.591-08:002014-11-29T04:38:01.591-08:00Hello , yes me tooo lived thru every comment u wro...Hello , yes me tooo lived thru every comment u wrote.. I will just go out there and say it's standard???? People in our culture just do t know how to do death, includes me me.. Yes people go away... But I crawled in hole for 3 1/2 yrs ... What now? ??? God help us all.. Only one that can1974https://www.blogger.com/profile/03452038541844071655noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1268746983441346507.post-322890221453982782014-11-28T20:18:49.333-08:002014-11-28T20:18:49.333-08:00You hit the nail on the head again, Kelley Lynn......You hit the nail on the head again, Kelley Lynn.....thank you again for being the voice of so many of us.kygalhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/08444107836629393066noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1268746983441346507.post-90527888657678899862014-11-28T20:13:57.166-08:002014-11-28T20:13:57.166-08:00I am so glad to have read this. I thought I was ju...I am so glad to have read this. I thought I was just becoming this angry, intolerant woman who's grief had made her difficult to get along with (yes I have been told this). My hubby died suddenly in January of 2010. It is nearly 5 years but I am not ready to "move on" as I keep being told. It's not like I sit at home and cry every day. I have 2 great kids, a full time teaching job and a very full life. I just haven't looked for a significant other. Not sure I will.<br />It seems that the longer you remain a widow, the more broken you are. It seems that my lack of interest in dating again (my kids are only 7 and 11 - they need all of me right now) means that I am wallowing and not even "trying" to get better.<br />*sigh*<br />So very glad to have read your post today. Thanks so much! Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1268746983441346507.post-64379181232463655972014-11-28T19:56:37.986-08:002014-11-28T19:56:37.986-08:00Hi Carol. I spent thanksgiving local with some goo...Hi Carol. I spent thanksgiving local with some good friends and their family (mine is 5 hours away and too far for a short trip), so I was able to write something up today, although I wrote it a bit late which sometimes happens lol. I definitely was not one of those people that said those cliche things to others who had lost someone ... mostly because I dont believe most of those cliches myself, so I wuldnt say them to someone else, but I do think that you dont REALLY know until you know. You know? lol. That being said, theres a difference between not knowing what to say, and just being an insensitive idiot ... there are toomany of those. :)Kelley Lynnhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/17289972201201027609noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1268746983441346507.post-15104324967369094062014-11-28T19:53:24.378-08:002014-11-28T19:53:24.378-08:00That sounds dirty lolThat sounds dirty lolKelley Lynnhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/17289972201201027609noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1268746983441346507.post-74355863539052571672014-11-28T17:52:28.082-08:002014-11-28T17:52:28.082-08:00Kelley Lynn, you nailed it as always. Thank you f...Kelley Lynn, you nailed it as always. Thank you for stating so eloquently exactly what each of us is subjected to. My husband died unexpectedly in June 2011. Our "supposed" friends are now gone from my life, however, within six months of my husband's death, our friends quit mentioning my husband's name as if he never existed. Some of these people knew my husband for 30 years. Everything you stated is so true. Bless you for your awesome talent of expressing the truth about this horrendous journey of grief.<br /><br />Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1268746983441346507.post-62139770556475573352014-11-28T14:41:03.001-08:002014-11-28T14:41:03.001-08:00LOVE this, love you, love everything about it. Tha...LOVE this, love you, love everything about it. Thanks for being so amazingly awesome. XoRebecca Collinshttps://www.blogger.com/profile/11421193473127149748noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1268746983441346507.post-9929073654800179922014-11-28T13:22:53.435-08:002014-11-28T13:22:53.435-08:00Kelley Lynn, I was hoping you weren't too preo...Kelley Lynn, I was hoping you weren't too preoccupied to write on this day after Thanksgiving. As always, you seem to hit on a topic that has just come onto my radar screen as well. My first thought about seeking out and enjoying (yes, enjoying) the company of other widowed friends is: "Birds of a feather". It is nature's way! To meet with others who have lost their spouse in an informal gathering where anyone can speak (or not) in a non-judgmental atmosphere is surely more healing than having someone tell you to get on with it. Get on with what? With minimizing the loss of the most important person in your life? Do these critics really want us to forget this person? I'm ashamed to admit that back in the day when I didn't understand the devastation of widowhood, I was guilty of saying clichés like: "Everything happens for a reason." "God will give you the strength to get through this." "Time heals all wounds." Boy, was I at the top of my new losers list! My only excuse is I just didn't know! Thank you for giving us the right example for how to deal with the critics (my old self included).<br /><br />Carol M.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1268746983441346507.post-76245894716371973172014-11-28T10:48:57.900-08:002014-11-28T10:48:57.900-08:00I love you. And I love this. I love this so very...I love you. And I love this. I love this so very hard. Anonymoushttps://www.blogger.com/profile/11822069445468897273noreply@blogger.com