Soaring Spirits Loss Foundation

Tuesday, September 8, 2009

Can She Fix It? Yes, She Can!

This is a picture of Grayson and I waiting for Amtrak to take us to Disneyland almost 4 years ago. If you look closely, you can see Daniel's reflection in the glass behind us. He's taking the picture. I didn't realize until he was already gone that his reflection was captured in the photo, and he looks for all the world like a ghost, sort of watching us in the background. Sometimes this picture comforts me, and I do believe that he is watching over us. Other times, the picture just pisses me off, this is me not knowing the light at the end of the tunnel was a train. Either way, that discussion is for another day.

Today, I'll focus on me and little G (or not so little G, as he has grown leaps and bounds since this pic). We are on our own now, and have been for a while. I could bore you for hours with the stories of all of the things I have had to take care of by myself that would have been Daniel's jobs: plumbing, sheet rock, painting, possum infestations, auto repair, etc. Usually, whatever the issue, I either do it myself, or call an expert (my brother, my dad, my various brothers-in-law). I am always annoyed by the need to ask for help. Jesus, could I need more help, really? Babysitting, home repairs, etc. Things I used to have a partner to help me with...everything, everything, everything belongs to me now. Want to see the definition of accountability? Look at the picture above. The friggin buck stops here that is for sure.

I moved into my new house two weeks ago. That was a ton of fun with me, myself, and I...the usual suspects, trying to get it all done. Thank goodness for my parents, in-laws, and various other volunteers who came over to help shorten the process. It might have taken weeks! :) New house. New challenges.

Last week's challenge? The dishwasher. Seems simple enough: load dirty dishes, add dishwasher soap, close door, hit start. The light comes on, a brief noise, then....nothing. In the classic definition of insanity, I repeated this process about 5 times before it occurred to me that this was not working. Well, what the hell is going on then? The power is on. The door is completely shut. No water? The sink is working. So it can't be that, right? I wanted to kick the damned thing in, but realized just in the nick of time that this was not a solution to my problem. So, out comes the thinking cap. No water. Why? After inspecting the thing thoroughly, I realized that the top shelf was off of its track on one side, causing it to sag under the weight of the dishes. The sag caused a disruption in the water connection for the washer. One Phillips head screwdriver and a few adjustments later...a functioning dishwasher! I was on cloud nine, and I'm pretty sure I called at least 5 people to tell them what a genius I am and how I didn't even have to call anyone. No one. Not a soul. I'd done it myself. HA! It's the little things really. ;)

Happy Tuesday! - Michelle D.

3 comments:

  1. Hey Michelle - BIG congratulations. Wow. Lots of courage!
    Much Love, Mie

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  2. YAY for you, Michelle!!! I know I'M proud of you! Don't you just love it when we figure these things out? I always look around for someoe to beam at and say, "Look! I did it!". next time I'll have to use your tact and call!
    Love,
    Janine

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  3. So much to do ourselves...After Eddie died I had to put the house up for sale and find something smaller that I could afford on my own. When everything was said and done, I sat down and couldn't believe that I had done it all by myself. For the first time I actually hired someone to paint the entire place (instead of me doing it), yet I did the rest. I picked out new carpet and had it installed. I charged up the battery and drilled holes to hang curtains. I hung pictures on the walls and asked my then 5 yr old, "Is it straight?" I helped my dad put together cabinets for the garage...I did it. I did sooo many things. It took awhile to get used to it, but today I love my little place. That was almost two and half years ago. Last May I continplated new car... I thought, if I can sell and buy a house on my own, then of course I can buy a car! As much as I never wanted to make such big decisions on my own, I have to admit, I have never felt so empowered as a woman to be able to do the things that I have done on my own. I would take it all back in a heartbeat if I could, but I can't. I might as well be proud of myself for all that I have done...including raising my little girl all by myself.

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