the dvr

there are

odd things around

the house that

trigger memories of liz.

on the refrigerator,

behind some mismatched magnets

is

a recipe with its

accompanying ingredient/grocery list

and

a list of things

to do around the house

before a dinner party

thrown long-ago,

(all in her hand writing).

one of the

worst triggers is

the goddamned dvr.

a source of constant

disagreement for two people

with widely different

tastes in tv/movies.

reruns of the gilmore girls,

episodes of the real world,

the hills

and more

all on “series record” mode,

all chosen by

liz.

i’m never going

to watch any of

this garbage

(didn’t when she was here, won’t now that she’s gone).

but,

how do i delete the episodes

she recorded

but didn’t get to see?

she’d be pissed

at me if i deleted

her shows.

so the dvr

continues to fill up

and i feel too

guilty to stop the

shows from

being recorded.

another thing

that really hits me

is that i’m

still getting her e-mails

on her blackberry.

i’ve already mentioned

the e-mails from

babycenter.com

but barack obama

and his supporters

e-mail liz way more

often than,

babycenter.com,

macy’s,

bloomingdales,

neiman marcus

and pottery barn

combined.

just today

michelle obama wrote

liz

asking her to help

“register and mobilize voters”

i know

liz

would have been

happy to work

arm-in-arm

with the future

first lady,

(obama was going to get her vote in nov.).

but

i’m not sure

liz

would be an

effective mobilizer

right now.

maybe i should

send michelle an e-mail

letting her know

what’s goin’ on.