Soaring Spirits Loss Foundation

Saturday, November 14, 2009

Release



I am a teapot (minus the short and stout)...or should I say, a tea kettle.

There are moments in my day, week, or month where the "pressure"/emotions inside of me become so overwhelming that they have to find some outlet to release all that is about to combust inside of my heart. Since I am unequipped with a whistling spout, in most cases it is released through my tear ducts, other times through screams, and sometimes through laughter.

The last few days I have felt an astounding amount of Michael's love. Of course I know it never leaves me, but there are times where it sits stagnant in my heart. The last few days it has felt as if he's been stirring the cauldron of my heart to make sure I know that he is here. Not so much for the long run....more so the eternal run.

All of that "stirring" the last few days heated up my kettle, which resulted in a "release"( in the form of tears mind you). Of course, you'd think after many of theses occurrences I'd have them down flat. I don't.

When the feeling starts pushing to the top I talk out loud to Michael. It's as if he is sitting right in front of me saying "I'm here, what do you have to say about that?". All I can say is that I love him, I feel him, I wish I could see and touch him, but I have learned those are not necessities for our love story to continue.

I think when my tea kettle "whistles" it is him letting me know, undoubtedly, unquestionably, that we are on this journey together. It took me two years to realize that, it'll probably take me much longer to get used to it, and forever to be thankful for it.


There is a sacredness in tears. They are not the mark of weakness, but of power. They speak more eloquently than ten thousand tongues. They are messengers of overwhelming grief...and unspeakable love.
-Washington Irving

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