It's that time of year. The time when everything takes on a rosy glow (when you stop rushing around long enough to notice the glow....). The time of year when people smile a bit more, say nicer things to each other, and we are, for just a few days, the people we strive less successfully to be the rest of the year round: generous in thought and deed, kind, forgiving, festive, living in the moment, grateful..the list goes on and on.
It can be a tough time, and the Christmas season has had it's ups and downs for the past four years. This year though, it's been mostly up and I'm grateful for that. Grayson and I have had a blast decorating our tree, decorating cookies, shopping, singing carols, etc. It's been great so far, and I'm looking forward to the next few days of relaxing and spending time with my family. In past years, I have felt Daniel's absence so much at Christmas, and being surrounded by the happy members of my extended family all so luckily accompanied by their spouses was almost more than I could bear. This year though, I am grateful to be with them, honored by the obvious love they have for each other, and so much less bitter about it.
Don't get me wrong, even in this wonderful joyous season I have my issues with God, and birthday or not...when I get up there, they will all have some splaining to do! But that conversation and it's illuminating answers is for a another day, and one that I honestly hope is way far in my future. In the meantime, I have a ton of life left to live in the long term, and in the short term: gifts to wrap and give, eggnog to drink, more baking to do, more hugs to give to Grayson, and just in general more love to spread around to the people who mean so much to me.
Merry Christmas (and happy Tuesday too!) - Michelle D.
yet again, Michelle, you have given me a glimmer of hope that I will be able to enjoy special days again. Right now I am ignoring the fact that it is Christmas on Friday, but I hope that in years to come I will be able to enjoy it again x
ReplyDeleteThanks for giving me, too, the hope it will be joyous again one day. It sure isn't this first one.....
ReplyDeleteThis is my 4th Christmas without William, yet I still find myself rooted to the ground, in the card shop, staring at lovely, loving Christmas cards whcih say so clearly in his voice ' you are the love of my life' - but his life is over now and mine goes on - 'I took the road less travelled and that has made all the difference'
ReplyDeleteI love the picture! It looks like a good time was had by all. It is wonderful to be able to still have those moments in the midst of this.
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