supposed to be in hawaii
with
liz
this weekend
(fucking reminder popped up on my blackberry the other day to make me feel like shit).
instead.
i sit here
thinking about nothing
but the fact that
she
died 2 months ago today.
(i fucking hate the 25th now).
how can i not
think about it?
there are too many reminders.
everyday
i have to look out
the picture window
in the front of my house
to see her car,
parked in her spot.
like she may just be
sitting out there,
like she did so often,
finishing up
one of her post-work
calls to chandra.
(i stare out that window way too much).
i have to see her
black, elastic pony-tail holders
on every door knob in
the house.
i don’t know why she
chose to put them
there, but there they
remain.
i know this pain, yet it is 10 months old for me. i won't tell you if or when it gets better. i'm still waiting. since i know this so well, i will tell you what is. you are in my humble thoughts and most sincere prayers.
ReplyDeleteThere is no way to prepare for those little reminders that sweep us off our feet. We have to move with the currents until we can stand upright again.
ReplyDelete