on my terms

after lunch with liz's friends

stopped at the dry cleaners.

the lady behind the counter

asked for the name.

“logelin”

she said,

“oh! did she have the baby?”

fuck.

how did she remember

liz?

i’m the one who did

most of the dry-cleaning runs.

“yes, she had the baby.”

(i hope she leaves it at that).

she said,

“how is liz doing?”

double fuck.

now i have to answer that question.

“well, liz passed away the day after the baby was born.”

here come the tears

(both of us).

we talked about what

happened and how madeline

is doing.

i left rather quickly

after that.

it was a tough encounter..

i’ve mentioned before

that i like to

tell people about

liz,

but i realized today

that it has to be

on my terms

and i have

to be ready