We write about widowhood as we live it. Together we examine the good, the bad, and the ugly parts of life as a widowed person. The views expressed here are those held by each individual author. We take no credit for their brillance; we just provide them with a forum for expressing their widowed journey in words that are uniquely their own.
Soaring Spirits Loss Foundation
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Saturday, March 6, 2010
Happiness- Provided by Me
“I define comfort as self-acceptance. When we finally learn that self-care begins and ends with ourselves, we no longer demand sustenance and happiness from others.” -Jennifer Louden
Let me just say how much I love this quote. I really should print it on cards and hand it out to those who make the snide remarks that I will not be able to be happy until "move on" or somehow refuse to acknowledge the smile on my face when they see no one is standing at my side.
In my later years of college, single, partied out, and facing a world sans boyfriend...I found self-acceptance. I learned to love ME as ME. Flaws, bad decisions and all (and believe me when I say made a few). That was a trying time; I believe we sometimes are our worst critics. But I did, I peeled the layers of my onion and saw a new life before me, one like play-doh; bright, colorful and ready for me to mold.
Well, a little less then 9 months later Michael came back into my life. My own personal happiness was there, but enhanced by my soul mate...caught on fire. Maybe that's why separation did nothing but enhance our relationship, not strain it, because the happiness never faded, and still hasn't to this day. Others just seem to have a hard time grasping that "sustenance and happiness" still run through this widow's veins.
So as I walk on this journey, I've dusted off my "self-care"...which was gathering dust...and decided to continue the path of happiness I found on my own, found enhanced by my soul mate, and found resurrected like a phoenix out of the ashes.
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