..... even though it did take two years for me to believe it.
I will.
.... even though it took two years for me to want to.
I will.
.... even though I still have days (sometimes weeks) when I'm knocked down by an unexpected wave.
I will.
.... even though I still have days (sometimes weeks) when I'm angry at Jim for leaving (yes, it's irrational, of course he wouldn't have chosen this, but who says grief is rational?) or at God for leaving me here without him.
I will.
.... even though I still have times when I can't stop thinking, "I cannot believe that this is my life".
I will.
.... even though I still have many, many times when I think, "This sucks."
I will.
.... even though I'm not the same person I was "before" and I miss her.
I will.
.... even though I'm not the same mother I was "before" and I sorely miss her.
I will.
.... even though my heart is forever scarred.
I will.
.... even though I sometimes still physically ache from his absence.
I will.
.... even though I still can't quite picture my future without him.
I will.
.... even though this is the most difficult thing I have done in my entire life.
I will.
... even though ....
I. Will.
Me too Janine, we're right here with you.
ReplyDeleteI will too!
ReplyDeleteYes, Yes, Coming up on five years and still had one of those I Will days this week.
ReplyDeleteFINALLY, thanks to your post, I know what frustrates me so much about all of this. I know I will have moments, and days, and weeks that the waves come crashing back in...I just wish everyone else would understand that!
ReplyDeletethank you...
Thank you, Janine. I love this.
ReplyDelete