Sunday, April 19, 2009
My Wedding Ring
I confess... I am an American Idol fan. I know, I know, but I love the show. So, for those of you who don't watch, this year in the finals there is a young widower named Danny Goeke. As the season has progressed I have watched Danny with interest as he grows as an artist, and I can sometimes imagine that I see him processing his grief.
In the early episodes of AI, Danny wore his wedding band. One evening I noticed he didn't have his ring on. I wondered what the impetus had been for him to take it off...personal, professional, on someones advice, or because he needed to? As I have listened to him sing, watched his awed face as he discovers he will continue on the show for another week, I always watch for signs that he is thinking of his wife. They were young maybe this was a dream they shared? Perhaps she was his biggest supporter? Or maybe not, but because he has walked the widow road, I feel I know him somehow.
So when Danny came on this week's show to sing "Endless Love," by Lionel Richie I noticed right away that he was wearing his wedding band. And I also noticed that he looked into the heavens as he sang the final words of the song...my endless love. The performance gave me chills, and it reminded me of the power of the jewelry we wear as symbols of our love.
Today I share with you my wedding ring. I took it off four months after Phil's death because I found it so painful to look at my hand and be reminded that I was no longer a wife; my husband wasn't coming home. But as time passed I found myself taking out my ring and wearing it when I wanted to feel Phil close to me. And I still do. On the anniversary of his death I often wear my beautiful ring. Sometimes I wear it when I am afraid, other times when I want to honor our love, and still other times just because. For me, taking my wedding ring off wasn't a permanent decision. That ring is mine no matter where the person who gave it to me resides, and it will always represent the promise Phil and I made to each other.
Death did part us, but my ring~and our love~remains.
So Danny, I totally get it. And she is really proud of you.