Into the light

 *

I have not been very happy lately.

It's been no secret.

There's no real reason (aside from the obvious dead-husband / life is awful thing).
...and as I've done before in times of stress, I turned to Pinterest.
...and I pin things that I think are funny or creative or yummy or fun or sarcastic or just plain awesome.

....and I while away an hour or so just looking at beauty and dreaming.

...and I think I have managed to pull myself out of the funk I have been in since death-week at the start of March. 
I've written about the Uncommon Therapy I get from photography before, and this burst of creativity has  helped my mood. 

Inspiration came in many ways:

1. My Year 1s and I created the most amazing canvas for the school art show.  Ours is by far the best.  The inspiration came from a Pinterest board on kid's art.
2.  I brushed up my photography skills and took some amazing portraits of a friend's children during the week.  ...and for once I was able to get that tricky back-lit light RIGHT due to a few tips I found a link to from a Pinterest pin - Huzzah!
3. I made brownies from a recipe I found on Pinterest.  (Kinda sabotaged my weight loss for the week though so will have to look into that).
4. ...and my garden is looking great due to pure inspiration I gleaned from looking at photos of garden pron on Pinterest.

I'm touching wood as I type, but barring having the Universe rain crap on me for a while ..... I think I am emerging from my apathy towards life.

No promises, but I hope it continues to work.....

(* Apologies for the crappy photo - school camera with approximately .5 of a second to get the shot and on auto setting ... will try to get a decent one on my camera later).

Uncommon Therapy

I've done common therapy ... 

The psychologist I saw for over a year was lovely to talk to, had some useful ideas and she confirmed my own suspicion that my mental health is worth bottling ..... but ultimately, this sadness will not lift easily and all the mindfulness and affirmations in the world won't fix it.

But thankfully, I've also stumbled into a form of uncommon* therapy....

...just before he died, Greg gave me my 40th birthday present..... a second hand DSLR Canon camera with three lenses.

....and just before he died I signed up to the 365Project which is a free website where the basic premise is that you take and upload a photo each day.

It took a while for me to return to this project after Greg died, and when I did it was with photos that simply documented our lives.

...and ever so slowly, my photos improved in both content and technique.

 I can now look back over the last 2 and a bit years and see that my photographs are increasingly full of colour and joy again..... possibly more colour and joy than I feel .... but proof that for at least part of every day, I have sought beauty around me and captured it in an image.

...and I am thankful for that.

*At no point should it replace quality professional therapy..... but if it can lift your eyes from the floor on even the darkest days, then it as therapy worth doing.