Thursday, February 12, 2015

Too Short

Valentine’s Day.

Another very difficult time of year for many of us widowed people.

Two years ago, Mike came in the door with a delighted grin on his face. He brought me a big box of chocolate from our wonderful local chocolatier, and a new garden hose I’d been wanting, in its own new gift bag he had purchased along with a beautiful card.  He was immensely proud of himself that he had made me happy with these small gifts.

Three days later he was dead.

I’ve kept the chocolates in the freezer all this time. Last year I ate a few. They are slightly freezer burned, even though they are tucked inside a ziplock bag, but I don’t care. I will eat a few more this year, and see if they can last another one too.

This next week will be a hard one full of dates I don’t want to think about. And it hasn’t been an easy couple of days around here either, for completely different reasons. A dear friend, the mother of the asthma victim I wrote about a few weeks ago as a matter of fact, was hospitalized as a result of a cascade of her own health problems. When her son called to say it was now she who was on life support, exactly three weeks from when he was there himself, you could have knocked me over with a feather. 

So it was another long day of waiting to hear. Another day of rumors of brain damage and “pulling the plug” which is such a heartless way of saying it in my opinion.

Finally they were able to stabilize her enough to fly her to Honolulu where there are personnel and facilities better equipped to deal with it all. We are all still waiting to hear what can be done. We really don’t know.

She and her son were among my husband’s first martial arts students here in Kona and became like family over the years. So many of the other friends and family waiting in the hospital together all knew Mike, and we spent some time reminiscing and telling stories about him too.

But it wasn’t fun. It wasn’t fun at all.

Otherwise my week has been full of work, lunches and dinners with friends, and evenings out to enjoy my new guy’s band. My plate is full, and I am glad of it. Because apparently life is short. Just too damn short.


  1. Stephanie, Just before I read your post I was sitting here thinking about Valentine's Day, and how much I hate not having my husband to share it with. Not that we did anything big, I think just more the fact that we had each other. I hate facing this day alone as do many of us I'm sure. I bought him a Valentine, something that has become a tradition for me, wrote a message to him in it, and tucked it away in a drawer with other momentos of the "us" that was. I'm on my "death march" with the 4-year anniversary coming up in April, and I'm sure that doesn't help. Reading these postsreminds me I'm not alone, we're all in this together much as we hate it, and that's a source of great comfort. Hugs and much aloha to you from the mainland.

  2. Hi Lisa. Yes we're in it together and however horrible it all is, it is comforting. Appreciate your thoughts very much. Aloha to you.

  3. Valentines we are not alone at all and gives me comfort reading your blog. Sending you Aloha and much love. Hawaii was a huge part of us. We had planned in a few years to
    Move there but Justin is in Lanikai Beach and over some beautiful rocks which his best friend and i hiked to in Hilo. Knowing we are not alone and hope one day I get to meet you.