“Confronting our feelings and giving them appropriate expression always takes strength, not weakness. It takes strength to acknowledge our anger, and sometimes more strength yet to curb the aggressive urges anger may bring and to channel them into nonviolent outlets. It takes strength to face our sadness and to grieve and to let our grief and our anger flow in tears when they need to. It takes strength to talk about our feelings and to reach out for help and comfort when we need it.”
- Fred Rogers
While sitting with a dear widow friend I met in the very first few months of losing our loves, we reflected on where our lives have gone over the past 5 years.
The things we've worked through. The things we still struggle with. The things we've faced head on. The things we're still fearful to deal with.
It was in these conversations that I realized all the demons I've faced and conquered. All the things and individuals I've forgiven.....including myself. All the things to come that I now look forward to growing from and through...not that I'll let bring me down.
All of these actions and changes, though, were prefaced by one important choice.
The choice to finally stand up and look in the mirror. The choice to finally question why your life is and what it could be if you chose to overcome and not to be overcome by.
It didn't happen overnight for me. It's an ongoing, day to day choice.
But it's a choice we all have.
It's a choice I'd highly recommend.
Because in reality it's not so much a choice...
It's your life.
I don't have anger, my wife wanted to live as much as anyone, but she didn't have a choice. We have decisions to make, good or bad, but need to move forward in a direction that can give us peace. Facing quiet and long days with having to do all the things to exist by myself without sharing is my battle. We all in time find ways to exist and give ourselves a purpose again..
ReplyDeleteI struggle mightily with purpose. I have a life - a good one by all accounts. And yet, each day, I struggle with my purpose. I do the things I need to do. I tend the people I need to tend to. But, I used to have a purpose. I chose not to be overcome, because I am still here, but what do I do now? I know the actions and the things that others expect, but what of fulfillment for me?
ReplyDeleteAs human beings we have a yearning for a more specific purpose in the world. In my experience (both personal and from working with clients), it arises along the way, as we find ourselves so to speak. But it's not near as important as our deepest purpose:
ReplyDeleteI firmly believe that our deepest purpose is simply to be ourselves, to be here. You chose not to be overcome and in that choice alone you are already fulfilling your purpose every single day, in the same way that a river that flows to the see fulfills its purpose just by flowing.
Many warm greetings -
Halina