I opened my box to find a package. As soon as I saw who the sender was I knew from our wedding.I did not know there was video until after Michael was killed, for what reasons I cannot say. When I heard there was film I did not think I would actually ever get a hard copy simply for the reason that it took 2 years for me to know it was even real. I did not know what the pieces of cardboard held inside of it, nor did I know how I would react.
I put it in.
What I saw were things I knew of, words I knew were exchanged, people I knew attended. What I got from it was more then that though. I got to feel the way I felt standing across from Michael that day, the rocking back and forth from excitement, the tears of happiness that had no off button. For 26 minutes I had pure love, on film.
I have it with me in my heart, as I know all of us do, but to watch it, to see the gleam in my eye, the nod of my head as Michael made sure I was ok, the kiss on my forehead from my soulmate....that is bliss, that is life, that is why I am still here. I am here for those moments, even if they are relived 2 years later with my husband by my side in spirit.
Do I still hope to have some freak accident occur that would lead me to Michael?......Yes. But am I happy to be able to know and be a living example of the purest love I've ever known?.....Hell to the yeah!
So here's to those memories, the best ones, the ones that are sometimes to painful to watch because of all the happiness present that we can't share with them now. May they be our personal sanctuary when all else is a hurricane.
Have you ever been at sea in a dense fog, when it seemed as if a tangible white darkness shut you in and the great ship, tense and anxious, groped her way toward the shore with plummet and sounding-line, and you waited with beating heart for something to happen? I was like that ship before my education began, only I was without compass or sounding line, and no way of knowing how near the harbor was. "Light! Give me light!" was the wordless cry of my soul, and the light of love shone on me in that very hour.
-Helen Keller
Taryn,
ReplyDeleteI would so cherish that tape. My husband died in December, the day after Christmas and I have been searching for some sort of video that someone might have. So far, no luck. I so want to hear his voice, see his smile, watch him move. Johnny opened a store in March of '08 and he actually was interviewed on TV for the news. I have gone to the TV station and they sent me somewhere else and it was only through an email address that you could contact them. Needless to say, they only kept things on file for three months. I just can't imagine the news destroying interviews, how is it that they can return to an event a year or two later and have it? I don't know, I just feel I'm banging my head against the wall. I also tried getting his voice from his voicemail on his phone, but that didn't work either. All I want is to see and hear him. I love that you have a video, like I said, cherish it. Hugs to you, Lorry
Taryn,
ReplyDeleteThat is such a blessing. Feeling emotional reading about you watching your DVD. I too had a blessing - but we would watch our wedding video - millions of times. Justin would wake me up in the middle of the night to watch it. After he died, I go to play it and its skipping cause it was scratched. My brotherinlaw has the original to this day. One day I was going through some movies in a binder that we kept - and what to my surprise - he had made copies of our wedding that said "The Movie". It does show the love even though I cry throughout the video. Thank you so much for sharing your story.
With much love,
Judy
Taryn,
ReplyDeleteThat is such a blessing. Feeling emotional reading about you watching your DVD. I too had a blessing - but we would watch our wedding video - millions of times. Justin would wake me up in the middle of the night to watch it. After he died, I go to play it and its skipping cause it was scratched. My brotherinlaw has the original to this day. One day I was going through some movies in a binder that we kept - and what to my surprise - he had made copies of our wedding that said "The Movie". It does show the love even though I cry throughout the video. Thank you so much for sharing your story.
With much love,
Judy
Taryn,
ReplyDeleteYour DVD is something that you will always treasure forever. Thank you so much for sharing your story. For us, Justin would play our wedding video over and over a million times. Of course, to my knowledge we only had one copy. After he died, I go to play it and its skipping all over the place. My brotherinlaw still have the original copy. Months pass, and I happen to look at our movie dvds which we kept in binders. To my surprise and joy, my husband made copies. I call it a gift from heaven. Even though tears still roll down my face, I feel very blessed to have this DVD.
Thank you for sharing.
Love and many hugs,
Judy