I believe for me, that a huge part of figuring out one's grief, one most know themselves. Now I know some could say this goes without saying, but after the loss of your soul mate it's difficult finding out who this new you is, or in my case, who this new me is.
It is has been through meeting others in like situations, reflecting on my own thoughts and actions, and lastly, making my self aware of auditory and visual things out there that may help in describing things that may not be able to put into words, that I have grown leaps and bounds.
One such example of the latter would be books. From Lewis to Emerson, it is in those bound pages that I have found that what that ink and paper holds is fare more precious then ever imagined. It was in college that I began reading a book entitled, "The Myth of Tomorrow" by Leo Buscaglia. After concluding the last chapter I realized the strength, power, and changes that I was allowing the words to have on me. I read things I had never pondered, things that stretched my thoughts and emotions to a new plain....and I loved it.
Miguel Ruiz explained in "The Four Agreements" that it is words that can either be the poison or tonic that determines our moods, thoughts, actions, etc. Anybody can read a paper, but we are the ones who determine what will impact us. We hold the pillar tp what will light our way.
It is because of that, that I am proud to say I happily stand in the "Self Help" book section! I love it there! I especially fancy the used book stores where there is a plethora of spines staring at you. I go into the section with no certain book or author in mind. Whether it's the title or decor, I'll pull out only a few, and usually in that mix, will find a book to take home. It is because I have no preconceived notion or background on what I will read that my mind is more open to soaking in the words or inspiration or knowledge that will help me on this lifetime journey we are all on.
Now you must excuse me, as I have a couple hardbacks calling me to the bedroom.....
The worth of a book is to be measured by what you can carry away from it.
~James Bryce
Taryn, I have not been much of a reader in the past, yes, a good romantic novel every now and then, but nothing on a daily basis or even monthly basis. Since the love of my life died in December, I have read, six books and I am now going onto the seventh. I have not been to the self-help section yet, but the books that I have chosen have helped me to get through this awful pain that we experience daily. When Johnny died, the first widows that came to my mind were the widows from 9/11. I went to the library and found books writen by the widows themselves, and I felt as if I were going through so many of the exact same feelings. I didn't feel so alone. For some reason, my reaction to my husband's death was to be with and talk to someone who has, been there, done that. Although the process isn't as permanant as the saying makes it sound, the "done that" just continues to keep on going. I am so very thankful for these books, and for the ones who have writen them. Hugs to all of you widows and others who are able to write and share your thoughts and experiences. This journey is almost unbearable enough, but reading of someone else's takes us on their journey as well, so we have the time to put ours aside for a breaf second. Lorry
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