Saturday, June 6, 2009

Bring It on Year 3!!

So the 2 year mark has come and passed. In one 24 hour period I am starting on another year in this new world I live in.

As the angelversary arrives people always seem to ask how I'm doing (Go figure), then the day arrives and it seems as if it was the build up to the day which was the worse. Then the day comes, and it seems like any other day in a way, but I have realized it proved me wrong this year. It's subtle changes show themselves at random moments or in quiet moments of reflection.

This year, as I seem to not measure it by 2009 but by days of survival, will be another chance for me to learn from my circumstances. Sometimes the hardest thing is reflecting on the days and years before in which pain was ever present, but I seem to flourish in it now. Those days are the writings of my climb up widow mountain. Had I not and continue to stumble or fall, would it be that interesting? Would it be the story you'd have pride in sharing with others?

My answer: Heck no! It's the scars I carry, the bruises on my heart, that have strengthened me and continue to strengthen me. For I have learned that so much is out of my control, so very much, but not love, and not perseverance, and not my life.

So bring it on year 3......because I'm coming at you full throttle baby!!!


  1. Taryn, I'm at the 2 1/2 year mark and it was refreshing to read your comments. You give me hope and reassure me that I'm not crazy because moments come, even after what seems like such a long time, when I can not hold back my tears.
    Thank you,

  2. Thank you Carol. I've embraced what BMD (Before Michael's Death) would be considered madness, and found it to be nothing but following my heart. I'm glad to know your on the journey with me!