I got a traffic ticket a few months ago.
Should have hopped out of the car immediately waving my
husband's death certificate. (There is a copy in my computer case, not sure why I leave it there or how it even got there)
Instead, I sat in the car, feeling guilty about even thinking about using
the widow card...
to get out of something that was rightfully my fault.
So I took the hit ($250),
opted for traffic school ($60 fee through town hall),
and registered for an on-line class ($20).
I had two months to do an 8 hour on line class.
I did it in 2 days...The last two days in between the morning routine,
work, car pool, dinner, homework and sleep.
On Februarly 16 at 11:00pm, I hit send.
Feeling all proud of my self.
I did it.
I, the raising-three-kids-money-making-holding-down-the-often-wobbly-unsteady-and-rightfully-insane-fort widow, will not get a point taken from her license
and will not see her insurance rate go up!
The next day I read the form more closely.
The company was supposed to report to the court BY February 16th! I should have had it done at least two days earlier!
I panicked. I cannot afford to have my insurance go up. I got on the phone.
"Please help me." I said "My husband died. I'm raising three kids on my own. I know I should have paid more attention, but it's hard to do right now. Is there anyway you can help me?" Desperation dripped from my mouth.
She was kind. She extended the date. She told me not to worry. She suggested I call back in week to make sure that the ticket was no longer on my record.
I hung up the phone, feeling a bit guilty. Can I still use the widow card? Do I have a right to slap it down? Was I really so busy I couldn't do the course? Is my life really that hectic.
Cause from where I sit, it is SOOOO much better than it was. Can I still be a card carrying member? I am functioning, I'm having fun, I'm learning how to handle all manner of crisis's without him.
When do I stop whipping it out?
I turned and said to my assistant,
"How long do you think I can use the widow card?"
She replied,
"How long will you grieve?"
Guilt gone.
Grief lasts a lifetime.....the cross we must bear.
ReplyDeleteThank you for this post. It feels good to not be alone.
ReplyDeleteWe all gotta play the hand we're dealt. (And that hand happens to contain a widow card.)
ReplyDeleteSo far I've only used the widow card once. (After downgrading our cable tv services I then played the card to get a further 30% discount on cable, internet & phone services for a year.) I absolutely know my husband would have approved AND found it somewhat humorous, so I'm OK with using it. For as long as I want to. Guilt free.