Sunday, May 16, 2010

Card Carrying Member

I have one

and I use it.

I do.

When I'm tired, overwhelmed, or just feel like giving the moaning, complaining-about-their-cellulite-people around me a wake-up call.

I work it into a conversation and I slap it down.

Then stand back watching with internal glee (most of the time)

as others stumble, fall over themselves,

or stifle all objections.

I love this card.

I love what it does to people:

how they squirm, and flounder and try to change the subject.

I love that I use it.

So when you think your life is shitty

when you want your husband to "just once, just frickin' once! DO THE LAUNDRY!"

and you have the nerve to complain and do NOTHING like actually ask him to do it,

I pull it out.


The widow card is slapped down.


Goes your self righteousness, your complaints.


I don't have to bring cake or desert.

I can be late and harried.



my husband's dead.


  1. Love this, Kim! Why shouldn't we use it? There ought to be one stinkin' perk to all of this crap, right?
    : )

  2. It's a short-lived "perk". Eventually, it will bite back.

  3. You just made my day! Most of the time I am too nice to use the card. But I so want to, especially when someone doesn't realize how petty their problem or crisis is. Life is not as bad for some people as they think. Walk in someone else's shoes, stop and think about the alternative that has you alone with kids and no husband at all because one day he was unexpectedly removed from your life. And for goodness sake, cherish what you have because in the blink of an eye, he could be gone. Forever.

  4. I love this. Can't tell you how many times I've felt like pulling out the widow card when someone is complaining about some stupid little thing that her husband did or didn't do... or when people avoid me because they can't deal with my loss. YOU can't deal with it? I'm the one who lost my husband, the love of my life, my soulmate... and YOU can't deal?! Eff that.

  5. Thanks for the laugh. Yes, it is hard to hear people complain about the petty small stuff, but I once did that too. I complained about the trivial minutae of my marriage to my now deceased husband. Now I feel completely stupid, but at the time it was under my skin. Death really puts things in perspective. We no longer "sweat the small stuff". We can help people to see that: that life is too short and some things are not worth the mental energy.

  6. One of my very best friends, who has been through it all with me, came by with her family on the way to dropping her husband off at the airport this morning. She actually said," soon as I get rid of Rob we'll have some fun."

    I just couldn't even say anything.

  7. I pull mine out all the time. I keep it in my wallet. i actually had someone ask me when will i stop using it.

  8. Wow. That was an ass-kicking post, if I ever read one.

  9. I've never used it, but I soooo want to use it when I hear people griping about the silliest little things!! Maybe I should just try it out. Just. Once. Just to make me feel better for a change. ;)

  10. Today, I was in the grocery store listening to a couple bickering and I wanted to use the card SOOOOO bad! I wish I had! There are many times that I'd like to.......maybe I will!

  11. Thank you so much for this. I haven't quite pulled it completely out...more like a slight show of it. However - just the thought of using it completely - warms my heart. Thanks for the reminder that it is okay to slap reality in people's faces even if it is mostly my own...

  12. Someone needs to write a booooook!

  13. I thought I was the only one who knew about the widow card, it's been two years and six months and still once in a while I'll have to pull it out and slap it down.Last night at a book store a person said to me " well, you know, everyone dies,sooner or later", I wanted so badly to make hers sooner!!!!!!!!