I wish I could spend a the monring writing someting truly poetic, but I've been swamped holding our first gala for the military widows the AWP serves and I feel that only one excerpt fully embodies what the night, these amazing women, and what we all are capable of doing when we see the light.
"to love life, to love it even
when you have no stomach for it
and everything you've held dear
crumbles like burnt paper in your hands,
your throat filled with the silt of it.
When grief sits with you, its tropical heat
thickening the air, heavy as water
more fit for gills than lungs;
when grief weights you like your own flesh
only more of it, an obesity of grief,
you think, How can a body withstand this?
Then you hold life like a face
between your palms, a plain face,
no charming smile, no violet eyes,
and you say, yes, I will take you
I will love you, again."
-Ellen Bass
Was like running into an old friend, better a mentor, to open this morning and see this poem. To see again those words that so well, to me, describe the weight of grief and then the the simple lightness of taking that "face" and realizing with the word I will love you again, I will love life. Hope your AWP night was wondrous.
ReplyDeleteThank you for this post, for keeping it simple,not glamourizing grief, and bringing it back to being real. I have been fighting the pull of getting caught up in the story of grief, and the tendency to idolize my partner. The pull is so strong, but leaves me with anxiety as I feel the drama of it all pulling me further away from him and his memory, and from the real experience of grief. Thanks for this simple reminder of taking the "plain face" and taking one more step forward to loving this living again- much appreciated. all the best with your gala
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