Tuesday, December 13, 2011

That look.


You know the one.

The one that your spouse would give you and you'd feel that strong connection like a bolt to your heart.

I miss getting that look.

That very first shy grin when we met ... and instantly, we both felt that zing of one soul recognising another.

The glowing face that was a result of just looking at me. Greg would just beam at me in greeting. Every Single Morning and Evening.

The glance and smile to share that private joke perfectly, without a word being spoken.

The look that said “I know what you are thinking”. We always knew what the other person was thinking. Even down to which obscure Python quote was perfect for the moment.

The look of the Only Other Person who is as proud of the kids as you are. The Only Other person who can rejoice at the first successful potty mission, and the only other person who could possibly be as proud of their achievements on their report cards (cough – working at ... and topping... an entire year above level at maths and reading age levels double their actual ages - cough).

The looking for each other. Seeking where the other was at a party (Australian parties are often affairs where the men collectively inhabit the bbq area, beer in hand while the women are chatting in the kitchen, or dancing on the patio, wine in hand.) We’d always glance over at each other and telepathically sense whether the other was having fun or whether it was time to leave.

The eyebrow wiggle that said ... well... you can guess the rest of that sentence....

The point is I miss that look that made me feel loved and safe and accepted and known.

The look that let me know I was home.

* Of course I don't actually have a decent picture of 'that look' ... we didn't take so many photos in the days before digital cameras. But this pic was snapped at a wedding shortly after we were smooching and so there is still some remaining traces of 'that look' on our faces.....
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  1. How true this is for all of us! I miss that look too. Having someone know you that well. It especially hurts not to have someone share your joys and concerns about your children. I did not have a father, so to see my children without their's really hurts when I tried my best to do things right so they were not without two parents. It just seems so unfair! I miss feeling like I was home too when he looked at me. He loved Christmas- and make everyone else enthusiastic about it too!

  2. Yes, I remember mine. It is what it is like to be known in a way no one has ever known you.
    Thank you for the reminder.

  3. What a beautiful couple!!!! And the love between you too is so very obvious! I feel your pain in missing "the look". Your post did remind me of that unexpected wink I would get now and then. It would make my heart skip a beat even after 31 years.

    Thank you!

  4. Amanda I envy you. I would love to have felt so loved. :)

  5. Ahhhhh what a beautiful photo! Yes you both DEFINITELY have a hint of that LOOK in your eyes! What a georgous guy Greg is, and your beautiful sparkling spirit...both of you beaming. Happy Memories. Thank you for sharing those memories...it made me remember. ((hugs of thanks))

  6. I love that look on your faces Amanda, you were obviously well loved and loved well.

  7. What a lovely post. Yes, I remember that look too. Miss it soooo much! But at least we have the memories, some people never get to experience that "look".

  8. I too miss the look Jim would give me or the way he would hold my hand in church and whisper "Hot hands" and how it would make me blush and melt my heart. I miss how his hands felt so strong and big in mine and how as he aged the texture of his skin changed but the feeling it gave me didn't. We never needed words just looks and we too knew what the other was thinking. Both of us would simultaneously say the same line or make the same comment and he would say to me "Get out of my head woman" with a cheeky grin. What I would give to hear him say that again.

  9. I remember that look where our eyes shined so brightly t one another across the room. I miss it every single day. I too feel sad that I don't have my husband to beam with tears in his eyes over our daughter's accomplishments....someone who couldn't be more proud. I especially miss just talking to my husband and sharing my day and thoughts. He was my sounding wall. He was everything I had ever wanted in a man...I was blessed to have gotten that kind of love, but do feel that life is just unfair. There was not a reason that he was taken from us. The holidays are always hard and there will always be an emptiness for me.

  10. Thank you so much for this post. In the midst of all the pain I had forgotten about "the look." It makes me feel so loved to remember that look...thank you so much for the reminder. I needed it tonight.