Thursday, March 15, 2012

The new girl in town

Hi. I'm Veronica. I'm the new girl in town here on Widow's Voice. Like most of you, I'm not the least bit thrilled to fall in any category to allow me such a role on this blog, but nonetheless, I am looking forward to walking through my grief journey will a community of people who get it. Let me tell you a little about me.

This is what my sweet little family looked like before tragedy struck unexpectedly in the form of a heart attack that took my wonderful husband and best friend Jeremy on a November 9, 2010 when he was at the very young age of 31. In addition, I was 28 and 6 months pregnant with our third child.

Needless to say, the last 16 1/2 have been quite the roller coaster for me. My life has been completely flipped upside down. Since Jeremy died, I had his baby without him, bought a house, lost my brother unexpectedly, and purchased a new vehicle. Lots of big milestones that have taken place without the one I love. Speaking of the one I love, I would like to tell you a little bit about my awesome husband, Jeremy.

Jeremy was the head of grounds at Rochester College, but also worked for our church as the Worship Leader there. He was a hunter and fisher, and full blooded Canadian through and through. He was stubborn, hilarious, sweet, handsome, loyal, and an incredible daddy and husband. He was my rock, my shoulder to cry on, my best friend, my anchor, my north, and my sanity. I can't bear to write out more of the horrible day, but you can read about it here.

Fast forward 16 1/6 months. I have come a long way, but this journey of grief for me is far from over. I continue to stumble my way through picking up all the broken pieces that were left behind in the shadows of the greatest loss I could have ever imagined. But my kids are happy, healthy, and still grieving in their own way too. And I have this sweet little face that Jeremy gifted me:

There ya have it. This is me. This is my family. This is my loss, my tragedy, my love, my story.
It's nice to meet you all.


  1. Let me be the first to welcome you Vee. So sorry we have to meet like this.
    I lost my beloved husband on the 11 October 2010 so am a similar amount of time out. Unlike you my kids are grown but still grieving heavily. You are inspiring.....with all you have lost and so much on your plate you are still reaching out to help others. Bless you and your beautiful family. Looking forward to getting to know you.

  2. Thank you for sharing your story. I am so sorry that you lost your best friend and wonderful husband. I lost my best friend and greatest love 8 days before you lost yours.
    I can understand some of your grief but like anon above my children are grown and out of the house. We were married 36 years.
    I can't imagine that happening in the middle of a pregnancy. You have survived so much. It really is a gift that you have your children to remind you of all of that love and life. I hope you have family and friends to give you lots of support and love and help.

    I smiled at the "full blooded Canadian" as I am also.

    Thank you for sharing your loss, your tragedy, your love. Your story is one of courage and resilience.

  3. Welcome, Veronica. Not that's it's nice to see another widow here, but you will find much support from others at this site. Thanks for sharing your story, each widow/widower I read about helps me to see that I am not alone, and we truly do draw strength from each other.

    You have a lovely family, I'm sure your children give you much comfort every day. Keep their memories of their Dad alive for them, talk about him a lot so they remember. It may be hard to do at first, but I know my children love to hear stories of those days, it brings back happy memories. And we can all use some of those.

  4. Hello Veronica,

    I took lost my best friend and man of my dreams to a heart attack. My husband was 50 years old and had completed 5 LA Marathons. Our daughter was soon to turn age 4 at the time. I am now past 4 years yet it is an uphill journey through all the loss and pain. There were so many other challenges that went along with losing Jesse, such as losing our homes, cars, and my husband's cat. All on top of losing my husband and the best father I could ever wish for, for our beautiful daughter. Thank you for being a voice and sharing. I hope you gain some peace in knowing you aren't alone. I wish we weren't in this together, but we are.

  5. Welcome Veronica! Thank you also for sharing your story. I know very well that 16 1/2 months ago, you would have NEVER!!!! imaged you would be writing your story here. As my husband died suddenly in March of 2010, I can relate to the shock and horror of your experience. But like the other Anons, I was married for 28 years with kids in their early 20s. I will tell you that early on, I wished that I had younger children to give me a purpose for continuing. But as time went by, I was very grateful that I didn't have little ones to contend with. My heart breaks even more for young widows/widowers like yourself.

    Welcome and thanks for being so incredibly brave!

  6. Thank you for baring your soul here, Veronica. So nice to "meet" you. Your family is just beautiful. That last picture of your youngest is impossible to look at without smiling.
    Keep on keepin' on, girl.

  7. Hi Vee. I am a month behind you, but my children are now grown and have children of their own. My grief pattern is probably different from yours as my wonderful partner of 27 years had been ill for the last 25 years of his life.

    It has hit the grandchildren much harder than even I thought and they miss their Grandad very much. He was a wonderful wise man who was able to guide them gently through their younger years. The kids miss him too and miss the wisdom and fun he managed to instil into everyday life.

    Most of all I identify with your picking up the broken pieces of your life and family. It's funny how long this seems to take though as you think you are almost there and something comes along and knocks you back. This week we had another death in the family, (my son-in-laws brother), and I am remembering all the little details over and over again. It is not helping having my daughter and son-in-law not coping with another death so soon and then we have spent the last three days cleaning out his brothers home.

    Life though tends to go on around us and we just deal with all the things that come up and while that is happening our grief moves in a different direction with each change.

    You are an amazing lady to be in the place where you can share the journey you are taking with all of us who have unwillingly joined the path. Although all our journey's are different they all start at the same place. The end is somewhere in the future, but none of us are there yet. Bless you and your family.

  8. Hi Vee-
    I'm so happy you are writing for Widow's Voice. It is such an amazing place and you are an amazing person! A perfect fit! I began reading your blog shortly after your husband died. Your story has touched me. My husband died when my youngest was only 6 months, I've always been drawn to your story...some how have felt linked by the raising a child that will never know the man I loved so much that I courageously started a family with him...and I continue that family filled with the love we shared.
    So sorry you're here and at the same happy you're here and your words will reach so many more in so many healing ways.
    your sister in grief-
    Chris (widowisland)
    Congrats Vee!

  9. Veronica,
    Thank you so much for sharing your stories and life with us. I look forward to reading your posts.

  10. Oh Vee, So happy to see you here ... but so NOT happy to know why you are here.