Through out my widow journey, I have had a lot of widows approach me.
Asking me "Do I belong in a suicide group?"
"My husband died from a drug overdose, am I a suicide widow?"
My answer to them is -
"Do you feel the overdose, car accident, etc, was a accident? Or do you feel it was self inflicted?"
If the answer is yes, then you belong.
See, it doesn't matter what the medical examiner says the cause of death is.
It doesn't what your family or friends say.
It doesn't matter what the death certificate says.
At the end of the day, if you feel the death was intentional, even if there wasn't a suicide note, then that's all that matters.
It doesn't matter what anyone else thinks or says. If you feel it was suicide, then it was suicide.
You have to live with the circumstances surrounding the death..
You have to deal with the stigma.
If you feel it was self inflected and feel that you are a suicide widow, then that's your answer.
A while ago, I started a (private) facebook group for widow(ers) of suicide.
This question has come up multiple times.
I always tell them the same, if you feel it was suicide, then it was suicide.
I have a lot of widows in my group that fall in this category.
But they are welcomed and loved in our suicide group, just like all the other suicides.
I have learned that being a suicide widow is a lot "different" then other widows.
My husband chose to leave.
He chose to die.
When a lot of other husband's were fighting to live.
I have learned that a lot of suicide widows, suffer in silence, because of what society expects of us.
For all the suicide widows out there, or all the widows that wonder if you belong in a suicide group, I welcome you.
Please know you are not alone in this struggle.
You are not alone in these questions.
Feel free to reach out to me on facebook.
Remember, you are right were you are supposed to be.