Tuesday, October 23, 2012

Not sweating the small stuff

I am proud of myself.
Today, instead of matching the reaction of someone who somehow mistook an innocuous, playful comment I made on facebook for rudeness, I took the higher ground and didn't sweat the small stuff.

Instead of responding in-kind  to her (mistaken) offence, I chose to hose her over-sensitivity down with a kind reply.   We ended up finishing the conversation with mutual understanding and laughter ... which was my intention in the first place.

I am proud of myself because I chose not to sweat the small stuff.

... because really, after what I've been through ...what  we've all been through,separately, yet collectively...  petty misunderstandings are infinitesimally small in the scheme of life. 

In my old life, I probably would have cut her inflated ego down to size with cutting words and razor wit. .. or told her to unceremoniously  Pull Her Head In because it had swelled to gigantic proportions.

But not today .... today I remembered that old quote about everyone fighting their own epic battle and that her misunderstanding came from someone or something else and not my innocent comment.  ...because, lets face it, when we are already hurting, everything can feel like another attack.

...and through understanding this, I managed to calm the whole situation without further ado.

Life is too short not to show kindness to everyone we meet.


  1. Great post Amanda! Perfect for my day, as I was telling a friend how pre-widow, I was definitely predisposed to road rage. Now, however, I rarely even experience an additional heart beat should someone feel the need to invade my road space.

    Kudos to you for taking the lead to calmn an explosive situation and for sharing your story with your widow/widower friends!!!! THANKS!

  2. I think it's because I really don't rank anything high up enough on the 'freak out' scale anymore. We've hit the top of it...and anything else is mere childs play.
    I feel the same way about some of my disappearing friends. My oldest daughter told me I should ask them what's up...and I told her that their disappearing wasn't about me. It was about them and their inability to deal with the scary scary. Screw em! I found better friends. Some who have lived the scary scary and are rock stars. The friends who stayed are real and true. I may add the ones who stayed were the ones I didn't think would.
    *go figure*
    Life really and truly has turned into a Drama Free Zone!
    Thanks Amanda!

  3. You were kind and wise to not choose to take your friend down a few notches...in my older wisdom, I try to remember that inflating ones self is often a response to fear or a sense of inadequacy. I was once at work and overheard a coworker claim an accomplishment of mine as her own and say "it was the most meaningful thing Ive ever done in my career"..I decided if her life was better thinking she did it, I would let her keep it. I find that God later blesses me for compassion in these situations.

    I have similarly chosen to not engage people who pissed me off in the immediate wake of my husbands death (except for Suntrust Bank, interacting with them was worse than planning a funeral and buying a casket, the heartless shrews).