The time for me to step away as a writer for Widow's Voice and let another share their life with all of you…to heal and learn in new ways and see things from another's view.
This moment was inevitable, as the only permanence in life is impermanence (as we all know too well…hence us being here), yet I want to share a bit of what it has meant for me to have had the honor to share my life with each of you over the past 6 years (0r 5...holy smokes…widow brain!).
I remember when Michele was in Austin and asked to meet me at a local coffee shop. Punctuality isn't my strong suit, but luckily patience is one of Michele's!
It was at that coffee shop that she told me about her vision for this blog and asked me if I would like to be a writer.
I did the simple action of happily accepting, but then faced the weekly challenge of putting my struggles, celebrations, mundane moments and more into words.
There were moments where I wanted to throw in the towel. Whether the reason being me doubting that my words even made an impact or having to actually make myself commit to something in a world I felt, at times, would crumble with every step.
As the weeks and years passed, I not only grew in connecting with so many of you, but in being able to look back and see my own progress! Something that we sometimes forget we are making in the midst of sifting through all of the emotions of finding out who we are after life has reminded us of it's knack for the uncertain.
Much has happened.
Smiles. Tears. Fear. Perseverance. Doubt. Struggles. Accomplishments. Life. Love.
This sanctuary Michele has planted, but each of you have watered, has become a garden of life after loss, and I'm blown away that I've made it this far!
I remember thinking I wouldn't live a year after Michael's death.
I remember thinking I would never know what it was to feel happy…I mean REALLY happy….after becoming a widow.
I remember thinking that there was no light at the end of this tunnel I'd been thrown into, simply because I loved another!
Yet now, I know.
I know what it is to know what hope is…I mean REAL hope.
I know what it is to not be alone.
I know what it is to enjoy exploring the me that has risen like a phoenix.
I know what it is to smile and not feel guilty.
I know what it is to not feel anger or pain, but joy and bliss.
I know what it is to carry on a legacy, but even more so….create one for myself.
I know what it is to be loved and love and be in love after tragedy.
So I leave you all with the wish that you remember….but more importantly, you know what is possible.
Where I will go from here is the same place I wish for each of you.
It will be different for everyone.
It will be rocky at times.
It will beautiful.
It will be yours to navigate.
It will be yours to create.
So where is it that I head from here?
At my own pace, taking all necessary breaks, sprinting when my heart yells "Go", and never stopping.
I'll see y'all there, and I hope that you know that when the next writer arrives, that they may have the words, wisdom, thoughts, to remind you that that direction is possible for you too….when you doubt it the most and need to be reminded of it the most.
It has been a pleasure, honor, process to be your Saturday writer (and from what Michele notified me, the longest Widow's Voice writer)!
Please check into my personal blog if you need a Taryn fix (as I'll update it now and then ) or drop me a line on my Instagram, and I'll see many of you at Camp Widow San Diego and Canada!
You've got this shit! Live on!