interesting.
After last weeks post, I head on into my week including attending a combined meeting of two chapters of a lobby/advocacy group that I've belonged to for nearly 20 years.
Over this period, there have been the various internal issues that arise from time to time in such organisations, and those currently around and the resulting pressure were released at this meeting. Unfortunately the release was aimed squarely at me, through a personal attack by a member of the other chapter, in a public meeting.
I left the meeting part-way through because of the attack, but had sit outside and wait as I was someone else's ride. As I listened to the rather good music selection this pub played, I had time to think further about how I have changed because of Ian's death.
And I came to two realisations.
First was confirmation I know what I want to do with my life professionally; I've had jobs, and I've enjoyed them, but they didn't really sit completely comfortably with me. I'm now working towards that career change and I hope I thrive in that profession (as long as I get off my butt and work on these two subject that just aren't doing it for me - Stats, blech!). I've know that since I made the decision to study only months after Ian died, but what I hadn't realised was that it has given me a sense of professional confidence I've not had before. I've found my professional 'thing'.
The other is I've finally found that something, that hobby, that issue, that 'whatever', I am passionate about: the financial and job security of widows.
I've had plenty of issues I've been vaguely interested in and happy to work on since they're important, but this is the first time I can say I'm passionate about something and will push a personal agenda. And since this organisation is an advocacy/lobby organisation and one of our key areas of focus is the financial security of women, quite frankly it's the perfect forum to explore and work on this issue in a local context.
Because our existing projects are well established, some six-plus months ago I put to my chapter a project proposition of exploring the financial/employment impacts of widowhood, and the majority in my chapter are keen to explore the issue. We don't know what we'll specifically focus on, so our first step, hopefully in the near future, will be to gather the financial and job-security stories of Australian widows and widowers, and we'll see where the stories we gather lead us.
Add that I'm 40 in a couple of months (celebrate?... not?... whole 'nother post) right now I feel like Tony in West Side Story - something's coming, something good.
Even if I still have a lot to work through.
"The other is I've finally found that something, that hobby, that issue, that 'whatever', I am passionate about: the financial and job security of widows."
ReplyDeleteThank you for posting this statement. It's now been two years and three days since my husband suddenly passed away at age 52, leaving me as a widow at age 50 and a single mom with 2 teen daughters (then ages 19 & 15). I've never felt so alone and helpless. Two years later I feel like I'm still struggling, even though I have received so much help and support from my family, friends, neighbors, and church members. But not his family. I just continue to take the steps to move forward for me and our daughters. Thank you for writing today.
It's good to have a sense of purpose. Thanks for writing!
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