Saturday, April 30, 2011


“You can hold yourself back from the sufferings of the world, that is something you are free to do and it accords with your nature, but perhaps this very holding back is the one suffering you could avoid.”
-Franz Kafka

I'm at one of our bi-monthly AWP events. Our first night is one of the most interesting. For many of the widows, it is there first time to meet another with shared grief, it is a first to finally realize that they are not alone.

We sit and laugh, cry, smile, share our lives...share our sufferings.

With each one shared, a wave reaction of nodding heads take over the room. And with that nodding comes a silence of understanding, of realization that we are each not alone in the emotions and feelings that come even 10 years after the loss of our loves.

I love these times. Even after realizing many years ago that I am not alone, I savor the times where we sit...and share...and feel alive in our shared grief...our shared pain...our shared survival.

They always say that out of suffering the most strongest soul no other time, than when I am with my fellow widows, is this most this most prevalent.


  1. Taryn,
    It is amazing what comfort "knowing" can give, isn't it? I went to a support group after my husband died and after it ended, we still needed each other. We get together a couple of times a month. It is (with the exception of my family) where I can say exactly what I feel and people understand.

  2. I have been widowed about a month. I am enjoying this blog and the honesty from the contributors. I am having difficulty connecting with other widows, as my marriage was not as happy as I would have liked. I quit wearing my wedding ring before my husband died from brain cancer, for example. I feel like my grief experience is different from others with whom I interact because I was not in love with my husband for years before he passed away. I am just wondering if there is anyone else out there who has experienced that type of grief. I do not mean to upset those who loved their spouses dearly. I would just like to connect with someone who might share some of my feelings, as I feel like a terrible widow at times.