Sunday, May 1, 2011

The Bikini

"Mom look!"

She's not timid.
She's not afraid.

She walks into my office in her first bikini.
Until this moment she had never worn one, never as a baby, toddler or little girl.
Until this moment she only wore board shorts and rash guards.
She has never worn one as the daughter of Art.

Two weeks after her 11th birthday she asked for one.
I waited for her to ask 4 more times before I took her seriously.
Then before our vacation, I purchased one.

She prances into my office for my assistant and myself to see.
She turns around once.

I am speechless.

Her long, lean legs, that ass that seems to have gone from adorable to hot over night.

The beginning of breasts.

Her older brother leans on my chair looking at his sister in a whole new light.

She leaves and he swings his left arm into the air, forward then back in a mock hit.
He swings his right arm into the air immediately after in the same motion.

He says "Bam! Back away from my sister!"
"YOU! I saw you looking!"
He lowers his pretend sunglasses, glowering over the top rims at the boys he has to defend his sister from and says
"I said I saw you looking, you look again and I'll......."

My assistant and I are cracking up.

The three of us all understand what is happening even if she doesn't yet.
And then I am crying.

Filling in the blanks:

Art would have ...

Art would think .....

This is something he would have needed to debrief.....over a period of days.....

But Langston stepped in. Langston without Art had the freedom to truly be the older brother, to see, to know, to desire to protect his sister. Art was so big in their eyes, I don't think Langston would have felt the need to step in.

And in that I see how their relationship, the one between brother and sister has shifted, has grown, has gotten stronger. They are not two separate individuals in a family. They are a pair, in a family that has experienced tragedy. And that tragedy has made them appreciate their own importance to each other. It's a gift.

And then I'm laughing again, thinking...

"Honey, it’s a good thing you are dead cause if you weren’t, Pallas in a bikini would kill you. P.s. She asked me for a skirt today!"


  1. Kim ..... totally loved this post! Jim, too, would have had a conniption fit at the sight of his little girls in a bikini! Those are the times that I think, "Too damn bad! You should be here to put your foot down."

  2. Love this so much! I am going through the same thing with my 12 year old daughter, and I can't help but think of her father and what he would be doing this summer! She is changing and growing so fast, becoming a beautiful young girl with a figure I did not have at her age!!!I remember when our niece was growing up and changing before our eyes, John was so awkward with her and usually, innocently, embarrassed her. It was so funny to watch him just fumble his way through a conversation with her about boys and clothes... I wish so much that he could see his daughter becoming this gorgeous young lady. But with only two younger brothers who have no clue yet how beautiful their sister is, it will be me standing over her at the beach this summer, arms crossed and eyeballing every boy that walks past....I dare them to even glance! LOL