Thursday, July 21, 2011

My name is Amanda and this is my story...

I met my soul-mate on February 6, 1993: it was love at first sight. Greg was the fun-loving, farm-boy to my shy, inquisitive city-girl. He was an engineer who loved all things mechanical and I was in the midst of my PhD in eco-botany. We just clicked straight away and seemed always to know what the other was thinking.

We married in 1997 and after living and working in the tropical paradise that is Australia’s north for a few years, we eventually settled down to married life, buying a house and having our precious daughter in 2002 and wonderful son in 2004.

I was so happy and lucky and loved and I took it all for granted.

Now I am someone different: I am a widow. The man I love beyond breath was killed in a car accident whilst carrying out his normal duties at work on March 1, 2010 – the same day I began my new career as a teacher. He was 47 years and 5 days old; I turned 40 a month later. If it wasn’t for my sheer determination to keep going in the weeks and months that followed, the mawing pit of grief would have swallowed me whole. But I have stubbornly refused to give in to despair, instead pouring my grief into my personal blog.

Today, most of me remains... I am still a Mum to two beautiful children. I am still a teacher. I still am a botanist. I still love Australian native plants and gardens. I still have fantastic friends. My brain still functions on a reasonably good level (short-term memory is a bit wonky though). I still love Holden cars and meat pies and good people everywhere. I still love the beach and the bush and I still love a good laugh.

But I find myself turning into someone new ... I find myself showing more kindness as I have been shown kindness. I find myself seeking out the hearts of others and hearing their story. …and I know one important truth: true love never dies.

Widow’s Voice was one of the first blogs I found in the months after being widowed in 2010 and I am honoured to be taking part in this wonderful project. I know I have such big shoes to fill as the wonderful Matt moves on to bigger and better things, and I join with some truly amazing men and women who are also walking this horrible road of widowhood. I hope that I have something useful to say, something worthwhile, something that resonates with other people here and helps us all to feel that little bit less alone. Thank you Michele for inviting me and thank you all for welcoming me here.


  1. Welcome Amanda! I think anyone who has gone on this journey knows how difficult it is to keep going despite our loss and know it chnages the way we see the world. It is our choice to choose to see the good or bad. It is up to us! And voices like yours help those of us out here see we are not alone.

  2. Nice to meet you Amanda!
    Thanks for using your writing talent here, sharing your journey.

  3. Happy to have you here! (Sorry that you're a widow of course. Greg sounds like he was wonderful.)

    "I was so happy and lucky and loved and I took it all for granted."
    Yep. We all do. But really who wants to live their life thinking their spouse could die tomorrow. I lived it for 6 months when Dave was diagnosed. I think I prefer living in blissful ignorance.

  4. Hello Amanda. Nice to see another Aussie here. I will be following your journey as you are only a few months ahead of me. Your Greg sounds like many of our wonderful Aussie men and I know you must miss him badly.
    Thanks for sharing your journey with us.

  5. Hi sweetheart,


    I lost my soulmate, Greg or as i call him (Greggie), in a car accident while on his way to work on March 9,2010; it was just 2 months shy of our wedding day.

    My Greggie is a great man as well. Such a wonderful example of a Godly man.
    God doesnt make guys like our Gregs very often!

    Look forward to hearing more about your journey as you share with us.

    Sending you lots of hugs.

  6. Hi Amanda. I like the way you see your life through a positive prism, stating that you are still a mother, still a teacher, etc., despite the grief battle you are fighting. You have held on to your identity, and that takes alot of strength. I'm looking forward to reading your blog weekly. Thanks for sharing, and blessings to you and your children.

  7. Hi Amanda, welcome and I look forward to reading you here as well as the other places your prose appears. Meeting you and communicating has helped me assimilate these disruptive deaths in my world. Thank you.