Tuesday, January 19, 2010

The Numbers Keep Growing

What's that old joke? This must be Heaven, people are just dying to get in here....

People aren't dying to get into our club, but membership requires that sacrifice of a loved one. Before I found Michele, and all of the rest of my widowed friends, I thought it was just me. Only I had lost my husband young. Only I was left to care for a child alone. Only I cried until my stomach muscles were so sore I could hardly breathe. Only I was left to figure out what kind of life was still possible for me.

Unfortunately for those who were here before me and for those who have joined me, I am absolutely not alone. We are all walking this path together, and each day brings more into our fold. It is sad to say, but the truth is clear to those of us already on this path. More will follow. I know two women personally who have lost their husbands in the last month. Young women, young husbands. The tragedy is never lost on me. I'm still surprised. I lost my husband when he was 35, and I will still naively say upon hearing of a similar story: "but he was so young."

Death does not discriminate. Old and young, death finds us all when it is our time. Death is not optional, and there is no alternative ending to any of our stories. We are not defined by death. We are defined by how we choose to live. Death will likely find me sooner than I would like, but when it comes knocking it will find me making the most of all of the minutes I am allotted. Death sucks, but I will not let my life suck because of it.

- Michelle D.



    and, as usual, just the words that I needed to hear xx

  2. 'Death sucks, but I will not let my life suck because of it.'

    That's great - and I may need to borrow that . . . . .

    Thanks Michelle

  3. so well written. I lost my love March 2009 at the age of 34. He also left behind our 3 (combined) children with a newly-pregnant me. Gave birth to our daughter in October 2009. Whenever I hear of something similar, I too will say "how young." It never ceases to shock me.

    Just have to keep on keepin' on.

  4. I lost my husband when he was 29, I was 26, and our son was 9 months. And yes, Death sucks. And you're right...we can't let our lifes follow suit....Grief does not give us the ability to stop living until we die. ~Shannon B.