Friday, April 16, 2010

Photo from BitchNewYork

I have realized through my recent, brief and unsuccessful foray into the world of widowed dating that I am most definately not looking for Jeff. It is not that I am measuring how certain men stand up to the man that Jeff was. It's that I am looking at them through not only my eyes, but Jeff's as well.
Yesterday, as I stood in line at the bank, I furtively checked out a spiky haired, bad-ass in a leather jacket. "Yummy...", my inner voice whispered. "Yeah and check out his studded ass!!!", my 'inner Jeffrey' bellowed with mirth in reference to the bejeweled rivets decorating curliqued crucifixes on the man's back pockets.
Hmmmm....Now that Jeff pointed out these...uber-embellished buttocks, I couldn't help but also notice the overdone and excessive use of flaming skulls on his motorcycle helmet clutched in his hand.
I realize that Jeff's 'voice' is also my own, but it is with the remembered view of Jeff's world that causes me to see these guys as he would and choose my action accordingly.
I'd not looking for Jeff (he was one of a kind); I'm just hoping to find someone that Jeff wouldn't refer to in derogatory terms....such as 'Mr. Fancy Pants'.
And, yes, I know I shouldn't judge a man by the copious amount of rhinestones on his pockets....but, occasionally, Jeff and I do.


  1. Interesting take on this. I sure can relate. I do look at men as my late husband Jimmy did - I do judge them with the same eyes...but now that I've had one long term relationship (a year) and I'm widowed four I think I may begin to lessen that.

    The world is different and will continue to be more so as the years go by...I, too, will change and who will be a good fit for me may change too.

  2. It's so funny because now I know that after losing Joe 3 1/2 years ago, I'm supposed to say I'm 3 1/2 years "out". WOW. Widow Talk. Who knew. I know I can't date because I have serious rage issues and if I ever went out with anyone, the first thing I would say would be, "Don't ever think you will take Joe's place". Date buster.