Thursday, November 24, 2011

a blessing for all things

Photo from here.....

The unthankful heart discovers no mercies; but the thankful heart will find, in every hour, some heavenly blessings.

-- Henry Ward Beecher

I have found that at times, I am a whiny, ungrateful little sap. I moan at life's injustice and cry out at the lot I have been given. I beat my fists against fate and want to scream when I hear "It happened for a reason". What the hell reason could it be that I had to lose my love so early? What reason is there that my children have to go to bed without their daddy's furry kiss?
But this quote and a few others like it help me to remember that perhaps there isn't a "reason" but a blessing for all things.
I am not blessed that Jeff is gone. But I am stronger, more empathetic and kinder since losing such a huge piece of my heart and life. And I am thankful for this....
I am thankful for my community and friends who support me with their love and generosity, reminding me that I am not alone.
I am thankful for the other widows I know and continue to meet for although we are all broken, we all seem to share a wicked sense of humour and an understanding of the truly important things in life.
I am thankful for every day that I am able to spend holding our small children's hands for I could have been the one who died.
I am thankful for the love he gave me and memories I have stored in my heart available when I need him close. It is NOT the same as having him here, but I am thankful that I did for a time.
And I am thankful for the opportunity to learn, grow and become who I am.

Happy Thanksgiving!!!!


  1. Yes! Yes! Yes!
    Everyday i try for this. I look out the window at the birds at the feeder, when I drive I marvel at the clouds moving in the sky, the leaves rustle, the laughter of my grandchildren, their small warm hands in mine, the rush of their greeting when they come through the door, the sound of one of my childrens voices on the phone "Hi! Mom. How are you?", the 36 years of memories of our love, our growing family, our building, planning, hoping. I am grateful that I have a warm home, food on the table, friends who invite me to dinner and check in and remind me to carry on. I am grateful for the peace I live in and because my husband was such a generous, kind and loving man and that his legacy lives on in our children. I am grateful for the health I currently have. I am grateful I could love and care for my husband at home so he could die as he wished. I am grateful I found Widows Voice so early in my widowhood. I am not sure I would have made it this far - feeling this gratitude, if I had not.
    Peace to all

  2. Holidays are always difficult. Today I'm living with my son and daughter-in-law and caring for my 4 mo old granddaughter. All of this States away from were my husband and I raised our family. My Mom died 3 years before my spouse, so seems like all the familiar traditions are gone. I mourn the loss of my husband and my mother today and all those familiar and comforting traditions, but I am also thankful today that I am not alone and am welcomed into my daughter-in-laws family to share their Thanksgiving. Bittersweet.

  3. Thank you Jackie.

    After 17 months I am also coming to the realization that railing against my reality is pointless and only increases my suffering.

    I am learning to embrace what is True, today. It's true that I'm alive. It's true that the sun still shines, the birds sing, and the leaves rustle and fall. It's true that I have food and shelter. It's true that my husband died young.
    If he wasn't supposed to die young - he wouldn't have.
    Still learning to love what is.

    Happy Thanksgiving to my American friends!

  4. Yes, it is true I have SOoooooo much to be thankful for and feel very guilty that this second Thanksgiving without my husband, I don't feel so thankful.

    Just feeling the need to be totally honest today.