Friday, June 22, 2012

The Faces of Hope

The picture above was taken a little over 5 years ago.  Michelle and I were each at about 18 months from Daniel and Phil's deaths, and we were together for my annual crawfish boil.   Michele had these shirts made for us, and I had joked that I wanted black t-shirts that said "Bitter" on them instead.  Funny to feel so bitter sometimes and yet so hopeful at others.  I know most of you know what I mean. 

Clearly we didn't wear the bitter t-shirts, our families wouldn't have thought it was funny then (they do now, and we have matching Bitter t-shirts too ;-) - but back then, we were so fresh, that the bitter t-shirts wouldn't have been funny to anyone but us. 

Sometimes I look at this picture and others like it, and I'm amazed at how far we've come since then. I remember the daily emails as we first got to know each other, and then the daily calls.  Sometimes we laughed until we were sick, and other times we cried and promised revenge on the Universe.  Well, as you know, the Universe isn't very responsive to threats...but it made us feel better anyway.  I remember out hideously inappropriate widow jokes, our frequent champagne skype dates, and the efforts we made to see each other as often as possible.  We were a life line to each other, and living proof that together we could survive.

Now, so many years later (time flies when you're having fun, right), we still share the bumps in the road and the wicked humor as well as our champagne skype dates.  Thank God for your widow friends, I know I do.  No one gets it as well as they do, and I'm grateful everyday for Michele and all of you.  With each other, we can do this. 

7 comments:

  1. I don't know how I would have survived this first year without my widdas. I met most of them on Widowed Village, and have to extend gracious thanks to Robin and Michele for that. We don't do Champagne Skype dates...we do Red Solo Cup WV chats!! I'm meeting 7 or 8 of them this weekend in Chicago and so looking forward to it. No one 'gets it' like they do. I'm so blessed to have them in my life!

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    1. Have a great weekend!! I think that's awesome! :)

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  2. Michelle, beautiful dedication to your BBF, the other Michelle! I am lucky as well to have one (wish I had more) other widow in my life who definitely is the reason I still get up everyday. We talk daily on the way into work and get together frequently. Like you and Michelle, we cry, laugh, yell, scream, and can tell each other anything without concern.

    I was disappointed that I tried Widow's match twice and those widows I did communicate with disappeared quickly. Probably indicative of widows life's pressures of everything else that needs attention.

    This blog is awesome and I am grateful for the writers and responders. THANKS!!!!!

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    1. Anon, I'm sorry that your Widow Matches didn't work. Mine didn't either .... I had the same experience you did. I wonder how common that is?
      I'm glad that you found the blog .... and can relate to us here. :)
      You might try Widowed Village .... a lot of people seem to connect on that site (see Carol's reply above). You can write on the different forums there and there's always a lively group in the live Chat (well, more so in the evenings than during the day .... but when they're there they're pretty lively!). :)

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  3. When I tell people that I'm talking to my widow friends, they physically groan! They think it must be so depressing to talk with and hang out with other widows. I'm still trying to convince them that these are some of the most uplifting people I've met in my life! We've pretty much been to hell and back and yet we're still hanging in there. Some day are better than others, but we're hanging in there. The grief waves still hit hard at times but it's getting better. And the main reason it's getting better is because of my online and in-person widows groups. No one gets me like these people. Why wouldn't I want to hang out with them???

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    1. bogie .... the women in my "Circle" think the same thing .... people are almost afraid to ask about our group. Like we sit around in sack cloth and ashes every time we meet (which is every other week)!
      I would bet that no one would ever guess that our group of 10-15 women is EVER seen as a group of "widows", but as a group of women who love each other, love to laugh and love a good glass of wine. :)

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  4. Amen to all above on the widow friends! So glad we found them, however we did it. xo

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