Tuesday, April 1, 2014

Bunkering Down

Two weeks ago was the 2nd anniversary of Ian getting sick. 

About this time last year was when I finally crashed head on into my loss and grief after having pushed through the 3 months of Ian's illness, his passing and continued to work for another 9 months.

I pulled out of classes, stopped work, sought medical and psychological help and basically jettisoned as much as I could off my load to just deal.

This year I thought I got through this anniversary relatively unscathed.  A few tears, a bit flat and melancholy, but I was able to keep up with the stuff of everyday life as a single mum and student.

And then last week hit.

Get sick - check

Decide going to class just isn't going to happen - check

Look at the work I have to do for school and decide it's just too hard - check (although I also suspect the assignment question is really, really badly worded and even a non-grief addled brain would struggle with it)

Short on patience with my active, use mum as a climbing frame, 3 year old son - check

Not taking as good a care of myself as I should - check

Get a raging headache that I just couldn't shake so shipped said 3 year old off to a last minute sleep over at the grandparents - check.

So I simply bunkered down for the latter half of the week while John was at pre-school, and slept every afternoon.

But I have to emerge again this week.  There are birthday parties to get to, meetings to attend, tests and assignments due at school.  Thankfully I feel like I'm able to.


  1. I can't imagine going through this with a young child. Keeping you in my thoughts.

  2. It sounds like you get through the actual event "ok" and then afterwards you get hit hard. I'm glad to hear you are emerging for life. It's hard to do.

  3. After reading about this "anniversary illness" for the third time, I am glad I decided to not buy tickets to the ballet. I will plan instead to "bunker down". I live at the shore so good health will simply mean activities closer to home, and I could always use an extra bottle of Pepto! -Snowygirl

  4. Jan - that's what I'm learning, and will be ready for me to have after-effects for future significant dates.