Or really, lack thereof.
I've found that in my after I am now less likely to persevere or pursue things when I lose respect for someone. And it doesn't take as much to lose that respect any more.
I've identified this mostly through my experiences in an online training course I started mid-last year. This is something over and above my university studies, but something I'm interested in doing as a volunteer rather than as paid employment.
The trainer seems to not take into account any prior knowledge or experience, especially if it comes from a different sector. In one assessment I got told I don't know what I'm talking about, never mind I worked in the sector for 8 years professionally and kind of know how the deal goes.
Then on another task, I get told to basically change my personality, which I countered at the time and received a back-tracking email from her.
I've still not finished the course, and I want to, but this facilitator has really put me off.
I hope to get it done, to pull my finger out and just knock it off by mid-year, but I just don't want to deal with her!
It keeps going on my to do list, and keeps slipping to the bottom. Even doing the ironing takes precedence and I HATE that particular chore.
Thing is, I'm not alone in feeling this way about the course. Someone I met at the face to face component is feeling similarly (and she actually works in the profession, just topping up her certification!).
Oh and yes, this other person...
Another widow.
I find myself these days so much more compassionate and understanding of people and their foibles and with absolutely zero tolerance for nonsense - no time for it, no patience for it and with a nagging need to call it out for what it is. I am completely fearless and yet wracked with anxiety. I used to be a simpler creature.
ReplyDeleteAfter my wife died I was less tolerant of others, but I've moderated since then. Since my wife and I had moved to a new location only 10 months before her death, I find there are many people I interact with who never knew her and may not be aware that I'm a widower.
ReplyDeleteWhen someone gets on my nerves, I often step back and remind myself that I don't know what else is going on in their life. That said, I've also given myself permission to drop things that I'm not enjoying.
If I take a class, go to a movie, play, or other event and I'm not enjoying myself, I will leave. I've come to the conclusion that I don't have the time to put up with things I'm not enjoying.
I worked with a woman who lost her husband 2 years before me and when my husband passed she had no remorse, and no compassion because life is and always has been all about her. Everyone grieves in a different way and that was her way. I learned to walk away from her when the needed arose, but I also had to work with her so our conversations were strictly business.
ReplyDeleteLife is hard and what we are going through is extremely difficult but some how we make it and move on one small baby step at a time.